Notes from a barstool

2005-06-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

Sensibly i head over to the NHS walk-in centre during my company's work hours in case my thumb might be broken. This is rather unlike me; last time I had a broken bone in my finger, it took my girlfriend two weeks to convince me that I needed to go to the hospital. I guess I learnt from that situation, mainly due to the fact that my lack of action resulted in an operation. Another reason for my speedy attempt to sort things out, is due to my current free weight fitness schedule. Losing the use of my thumb makes this fitness regime practically impossible, so I need to get it healed ASAP, whatever is wrong with it.

Two hours later I'm back at work with a set of X-Rays that demonstrate "a total fracture" of my lower thumb joint. An appointment has also been made with the fracture clinic at St Peter's hospital on Monday, in order for a specialist to check it out properly and give his opinion on the break.

2005-06-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

After the euphoria of last night and seeing Notes from a Barstool for the very first time, it is somehow inevitable that disaster should strike at football tonight.

During my stint in goal, I throw the ball up field towards Clive. As my hand flies forward, Graham (playing for the oppposition) runs right in front of me and lifts his arm; a reflex reaction or an attempt to block the ball. Either way, my thumb catches his forearm and bends completely back on itself. I yell out briefly, more in anticipation of the pain than the pain itself. I cannot immediately see any bruising, so assume that it's probably just a bad sprain. I carry on playing, though each time my wrist jolts, a sudden pain jolts through my hand. My ability drops by about 50% as I struggle to focus on the game instead of my hand. Thankfully, though, the game finally ends.

2005-06-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

Allen turns up on my doorstep early evening with Notes from a Barstool and right away I can see that this time, the cover looks like it ought to! We nervously check through a copy, to make sure that everything looks OK, and Al breathes a sigh of relief as I inform him that his job is done.

And so stage 1 is complete; Notes from a Barstool is officially born unto the world.

2005-05-31T23:05:00.000-07:00

First day back at work is with a 6:30am start and a hectic day in Croydon. Strangely it flies effortlessly by and before I know it, it's 6:30pm and I'm back home.

Watch Sin City, which is a thoroughly enjoyable film. It takes me about 15 mins to get into the "comic book" feel, so hang on in there if you're too reality focused and thinking this film is way too cool for it's own good.

2005-05-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

Join Jim and Dave W (both hammers fans) at the Varsity to watch the Championship playoff final between West Ham & Preston: winners to be promoted to the Premiership. Nick also jonis us towards the end of th esecond half (obviously not a hammers fan).

West Ham do the business and fairly effortlessly pull off a 1-0 win. It's all they need though; Dave and Jim are over-the-moon. West Ham will be back with the big boys next season.

After the game and some fiddling aboutin order to drop my car back home, I meet up with Dave W, Jim, Nick & Jo at the Royal Oak. Jim is absolutely hammered and only sticks around for about twenty mins, before stumbling into a taxi to go back to Sara's place; lucky Sara! Nick & Jo head for a meal, leaving Dave W; who is about one pint away from being in the same state that Jim was in! We hang out in Guildford for a bit before Dave admits defeat and we decide to call it.

Thankfully the early finish means I should be spared a hangover for my return to work tomorrow.

2005-05-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

The second venue for Clive's "double-bill birthday" is the King's Head. I leave just before last orders in order to make the late night movie showing at their place of White Noise. The film is entertaining, but not at all scary - a standard comment RE: most horror films these days...

2005-05-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

Notes from a Barstool arrives at my door... but has to go straight back again!

The idiot printers have somehow managed to fold the cover the wrong way; meaning that the front cover has now become inside back cover - and yes, this occurs for every single copy. Whilst the fuck up is generally amusing there is, however, an element of frustration creeping in, since yet again we are hitting a delay that is pushing us further off schedule.

The frustration is only short lived, since it's a bank holiday weekend and my diary is fully booked for going out.

Tonight is the first of a double-bill of bar nights planned for Clive's birthday. Saturday's location is The Guildford Tup - for beer and the England friendly against the USA.

Everyone ends up at Dave W's place where Clive utilises a dial-a-beer service which for about £35 results in a crate of beer being delievered to the door.

2005-05-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

Allen confirms by text that Notes from a Barstool is still on schedule to be printed by the weekend. Assumming all goes to plan, Allen will drop by late Sat AM with the finished article!

2005-05-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

Contact my insurers today and discover the good news that my car will NOT be written off!

Initially I bemoan the fact that the expected repair date is 12th June... until I hear the absolutely unbelievable news; that I can have full use of the pool car in addition to my car allowance until I my car gets fixed! Even taking into account the excess payment on my policy, the net effect of not using my car for nearly 4 weeks, means that I actually save money!

Bonus!

2005-05-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

Rush over to Guildford in my lunch hour in order to purchase a bouquet of flowers from Wild Thyme - a superb florist round the back of the station - intended as a 'thank you' present for Nat for her awesome design of the marketing issue of Notes from a Barstool.

After work I head over to Camberley and deliver the flowers to Dave M (Nat's boyfriend), since she is still out at the gym. Dave takes the flowers and jokes that he'll present them to his girlfriend, pretending that they're from him.

Since the flowers are obviously NOT thieved from a cemetary headstone, i figure it's very unlikely that Nat will believe the bouquet could possibly be from him.

2005-05-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

My first achievement today is to book myself a £37 (a night) room at the Davis hotel (same 5 star as the others are staying at, but in a slightly cheaper room) for the first two nights that we're spending in Bangkok.

My second achievement is to find a £2.99 bottle of Merlot in Sainsburys. What I mean by this is that I'm blown away in the evening (when I actually open the bottle), because it actually tastes really fucking good. At £2.99 I can't afford not to drink it. Rather ridiculously I celebrate by finishing the entire bottle while watching the Bourne Supremacy. This is a major mistake since it's Sunday night and I really should know better by now.

2005-05-21T23:32:00.000-07:00

Sensibly I had set my alarm for 13:00 last night (or rather early this AM), which allows me enough time to get up, get ready and drive over to Nick & Jo's place while there is still some food left on their BBQ - an event in celebration of today's FA Cup between Arsenal & Liverpool.

KO is at 3pm and the game is possibly one of the worst ever. I drive home as extra time begins; the scores level at 0-0 (after 90 mins of normal time). I listen to extra time on Radio 5 live as I organise myself, in order to get the bus back into Guildford for the evening. The game heads predictably into penalties and Arsenal win 5-4. This comes as a major relief, since Nick would have been inconsolable if Arsenal had failed to win any silverware this season.

I meet up with everyone else at HaHa early evening and we stay for a couple of hours until boredom forces us to move on to the live music at The Keystone.

Time at the bar signals another move, this time back to Nick & Jo's, where we proceed to have the second BBQ of the day, followed by much drunken singing. Most memorable song of the night being an abysmal rendition of Bohemiam Rhapsody, by pretty much the whole group. Yes, I am truely ashamed!

2005-05-20T23:22:00.000-07:00

Work (in Mayfair) provides an unexpected bonus of a quiet afternoon. Two hours without interuption allows me finally to catch on my weblog. This is not before time, since the last post was nearly 7 days ago - apologies to all of you who tune in each day desperate for something new; too many damn repeats, right?! I also find enough time to book my internal flight from Bangkok to Koh Samui.

Meet with Lee & Ali, and Jim & Sara. Jim resigned from his nightmare job today and is definitely in a celebratory mood - who can blame him when the boss is a bitch, the hours suck and the job is unfullfilling.

Apres le pub... is an audience with G& Jo. And this (naturally) involves several hours of partying. As a result, I don't hit the sack until 6am.

2005-05-19T23:54:00.000-07:00

News on printing is that we can expect Notes from a Barstool to be ready early next week! Almost there - at long last!

Finally we get 5-a-side at football tonight and it makes for a good game in the rain. It's a fast paced game and one that we win reasonably easily. In all fairness, we're helped out slightly due to Nick (who's playing against us) picking up an injury in th efirst five mins and having to play in goal for the rest of the game. In terms of my own game, I start abysmally by missing a hatful of chance until 15mins in when I hit a purple patch and put away a hattrick in the space of five mins! This includes a glorious goal in which I lobbed Lee (the last defender), ran past him and then half volleyed the ball past Nick and into the goal. I only detail this point, because Lee still claims that it was a fluke!

2005-05-18T23:38:00.000-07:00

I get back home (after completing a day's work up in Mayfair) at about 7pm, which indicates already that I'm gonna be late for my friend Clare's performance in Chess at Camberley theatre, since the show starts at 19:45 and I still have to change, eat and then drive and find the place.

Arrive at the theatre at 19:55 (which ain't too bad considering...) and eventually find where the rest of the guys from work are sitting.

The show lasts just about two and a half hours in total, though this does include an interval. Overall I'm pretty impressed by the performances. For an amateur production, it's fairly professional.

Highlights:
Clare's faultless performance (no favouritism, she really is just damn good at this kind of thing)
Richard (the guy that the played Russian lead) - Excellent voice and a great actor

Lowlights:-
Sound guy fucked up on one of Clare's speaking bits.
Other lead males couldn't sing for toffee.

Meet up with Clare in the bar after (she really is a total starlet and I tell her as such), I also speak to her friend and fellow cast member Ben (who I have met once before and who also put in a good performance) and Richard (mentioned above) who actually does IT as a "proper job". This fact seems to confuse the Hell out of some old Thespian who keeps saying "you should go into acting - there's no reason not to with your talent". Richard was like; "but i like IT..."

2005-05-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

It's largely a day spent organising shit over my car accident, so it's a major relief that I'm office based AM today!

They say that good news happens in 3s and eventually by noon there are three great bits of news relating to my car:-
1) No whiplash or any major aches and pains - Man, I've survived unscaved.
2) Work have lent me a pool car - it's only a Mondeo estate, but hey, it's free.
3) I phone the owner of the garden who informs me that he won't be billing me for any damage to his land.

In the evening, I go to the pub with Jim, and he informs me that he hates his recruitment consultant's job and will resign at the end of the week. I feel a certain amount of envy as I'd love to do the same with my own job; assumming I had somewhere better to go of course!

2005-05-16T23:21:00.000-07:00

The working day runs smoothly, while the evening is a completely different story:-

My intention to deliver the nfab CD to Allen and enjoy a couple of beers at Allen's local is in theory the most simplistic of plans. The slippery road surface en route, is not. And so as I'm literally one mile from Holmbury (and from a couple of relaxing pints), my tyres suddenly lose grip, and my car spins round and right off the road, heading forwards up a bank.

The reality of the above description is actually not as brief or fleeting. In fact the moment my back wheels started to spin out, it was literally like my life was playing out in slow motion. I calmly thought; well it's obvious that you've got to steer into the skid, and so I did... but nothing happened, because the car was still aqua-planing on the wet surface. By the time the grip kicked in, my car was facing the side of the road, and all I could do was hit the brakes some more and hope.

And so I came to a halt, looking out across an immaculate lawn. It felt like that bit at the end of the Italian job where the bus hangs off the cliffe, because my car was clearly banked on it's underside, wheels up in the air. "Fuck" was a word I seemed to be saying over and over. I climbed out and quickly surveyed the damage. There was fairly extensive body work damage on the left side where the car had imapcted onto a bush and minor damage to the front bumper, but apart from that it looked OK and sounded OK (engine-wise). Of course, the main problem was that I was still banked and half in somebody's garden!

Eventually I give up desperately trying to shift the car on my own and decide to pursue a useful course of action instead. Realising my mobile reception is nil, I have no choice but to flag down a passing car (at this point in time, still in shock, there is absolutely no way I'm ready to confront the owner of the garden). A woman in a Merc pulls over heading in th eHomlmbury direction. Obviously she will be no use in helping me push, but there is another way she can be of use...

Five mins later I get exit the woman's Merc, thank her profusely for the lift (how I blagged that one I'll never know) and walk into the pub where I'm supposed to be meeting Al for a relaxed couple of pints. Al says "Hi", but can immediately see from my face that the plan has changed somewhat.

Allen kindly drives me back to the scene of the crash. As we arrive, two other guys pull up and soon the four of us are attempting to move my car... but it's all to no avail - the damn thing won't shift. Only option now will be to involve a tow-truck. Thankfully I manage to find my insurance details and a number to call. As I relay all the details to my insurers, the owner of the house finally appears. Thankfully he's reasonably Ok about the whole thing, mainly due to the fact that I've come off the road and into his garden at the exact same spot as someone else did a couple of months ago! He also explains this is why he dumped a load of grass cuttings down (which is what the underside of my car is currently stuck in! I give him my details anyway, because it's difficult to see if there's any damage or not, while my car is still stuck there.

Eventually the tow-truck arrives and takes my car away. With that issue finally sorted, Allen kindly returns me to my flat.

After Allen leaves, I finish the half bottle of wine left over from last night while I laugh away to the Little Britain DVD. Bizarrrly I end the night on drunken high spirits; presumably my subconcious has decided to let the car-less reality sink in tomorrow.

2005-05-15T23:12:00.000-07:00

Until 6:30pm, I do very little:-
Get up at 12:30pm
Sit in the sunshine, reading the paper.
Cook an evening meal.

Then at half six Natalie phones and I dictate the final alterations required over the phone. At this point I need to (i) Ok the final published version of NFAB and (ii) collect a CD containing this final published version in order to get this to Allen tomorrow after work... and so I drive over to Nats and by 9.30pm, I'm back at my place, holding the CD containing the completed publication!

All that running around and I'm exhausted, but in celebratory mood. Rather than face work head on and get to bed early, I decide instead to stay up and watch the Bourne Identity accompanied with a half bottle of Cabernet.

Watched Bourne Identity
Went to bed

2005-05-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

A late one at the Carlton last night, on top of a heavy working week results in me waking up post-noon. To make matters worse, my hangover is undoubtably the worst for a long while. My afternoon is largely spent in recovery mode.

Need to get to nick's place for about 7pm in order to meet with Nick, Jo, Matt & Lou to organise flights to Thailand. Do to lack of public transport in Mayford at this time, I decide that as the weather is OK, I'll walk to Woking and catch a train to guildford from there (there's a train about every 20mins). End up meeting and chatting on the train to twins who I last saw about 5 years ago. I had a brief fling with one of them while she was still going out with this guy; a sometime aquantiance of mine. As I'm sure you can imagine then it was a bit of an ackward conversation initially, and not helped by my hangover (currently at the stage where my brain felt like it had been scooped from my head).

Get to Nick's and to cut a long story short, the girls will be booking the flights tomorrow for about £500.

I head to the Keystone (while the others head for a curry) and meet up with Clive, Hanna, Lee, Ali, Paolo, Danny and Danny's mate John.

When last orders arrives, I get a £20 taxi to Ben's in Hambledon and join him, G & Jo and a couple of Ben's mates. Later Brett and Jimmy (two of G's mates) show up and we party until about 4:30am. At the end of the night we pile into the back of G's van and eventually he drops us all home.

2005-05-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

Use my work time wisely after discovering that the Business Development manager used to 'proof' when he worked in advertising. Get him to check through the editorial and cover pages and after a brief TXT conversation with Nick, I email the final changes (4 in total) back to Nat.

Evening I meet Lee & Ali at the Three Pigeons. Nick and Jo join us later and then we head to the Carlton Hotel Bar at last orders. Meet up with a blast from the past; Steve Paigne. He's back in the UK for about a week before he returns to Kuala Lumpa. Lucky bastard!

Have another drunken classic when Jo (also drunk) insists I sit next to her, because "a really attractive girl with great breasts is sitting next to me (she's just headed to the toilet)".

Well, there's absolutely no argument, right?!

Just then I see an incrediably fit girl approach the table, and sure enough, she has great breasts! Indeed, a nudge in the ribs from Jo, confirms that this is the girl.

The girl sits beside me and so I introduce myself. Things start really well, as we launch into an introductory conversation. Initially she is incrediably receptive, but things soon start to go down hill once she realises how pissed I am and that my conversation is no doubt working around one sentence... continually! She is polite for a bit, but as I continue to spurt out slur after slur, she presumably loses the will to live, since she turns unsubtly away from me and returns to the conversation on her friends' table.

We're going! I instruct Nick & Jo, and storm right out of there.

2005-05-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

Nat sends the final draft for me to check over one last time. Whatever changes are made now, that will be it. Similarly, whatever mistakes I miss... well, these will remain for the entire world to see!

2005-05-11T23:15:00.000-07:00

Get home about 6.30pm and everything seems to happen at once!

First on the agenda is food, but all the while I cook, I contemplate the latest design draft for Notes from a Barstool and try to envisage the changes it needs. Ultimately I need to highlight all final, major changes tonight, in order to achieve my intended deadline of completing all redrafting by this weekend. Furthermore, I'm on my own on this one, since Nick is at Arsenal vs Everton, so there's no chance that he can assist proofing the design draft.

As I eat, I continue to hope for insiration. My brain is beginnning to enter the creative zone and I hit my PC and begin to try out some phrases for the inside back cover. It's 7:30pm and things are slowly coming together.

At 8pm the phone rings. It's Lee R. Glad for the break (after half an hour of effort), we catch up and agree that we must go out again sometime soon.

As I hang up, I notice it's 8:30pm I also notice a TXT on my mobile from Jim; 'beer tonight?'
I call him back and arrange to meet him at the Hare & Hounds in Westend at 9:15pm. This means I have about 25mins to completely redraft Notes from a Bartsool and detail the changes in an email for Nat!

Miraculously the pressure of an immediate deadline hits me like an Amphetamine and as 8:55pm arrives, I fire off my email to Nat, throw on a jacket and leave the house.

2005-05-10T11:01:00.000-07:00

Wake up feeling like i haven't been to sleep! Scariest thing is that apart from being inconvenient, this early hour doesn't feel particularly early any more... or maybe it's just because today is bright and sunny and half the world is already up and out at this time.

Being back in familiar Finchley territory with a relatively laid back customer is good news considering I'm so tired. Thankfully the day is much less stressful than yesterday.

I check out Google and am disappointed to learn that www.notesfromabarstool.com is still not listed.

But then the good news: I discover that finally, we've been listed at www.Yahoo.com (and www.Yahoo.co.uk) - Enter 'notes' & 'barstool' as search terms and you'll find us no.1 of 49,300!
I quickly refer back to Google's listing requirements and discover:-
"Once your site is included in either of these directories (Yahoo or DMOZ), Google will often index your site within six to eight weeks."

Well, here's hoping anyway!

2005-05-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

My weekend of partying means that I roll through Monday in a trance-like state. Usually this ain't such a bad thing, since it keeps reality at a nice enough distance to deal with - ie I don't a shit what happens. But today the workload is frenetic and inescapable... inescapable that is, until my watch shows 5pm and I'm straight out the door like a rocket.

Receive an email from Nat... it's NFAB redrafted! I have a quick look through, but I'm too tired to think details. Instead I begin to think that a film might be the solution for Mon night. Text G, then drive over to his & Jo's place and borrow Bourne Identity & Bourne Supremacy - it's already 9pm, so it's unlikely I'm gonna be checking either out 2nite, but at least I'll have them to entertain me some other lonely night.

While I'm over at Gs he informs me that a mutual aquaintance had his stomach pumped out on Sat night after taking an overdose! Not sure what he took, but at least he has recovered enough to return to work 2moro. Apparently it was brought on by the breakup of his girlfriend and his Dad wanting him to move out ASAP.

2005-05-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

Today is a write off. No surprise there! In an attempt to salvage some of it, I haul my sorry ass out of bed at 14:30 and eventually get over to Nick's place in time for the start of Arsenal vs Liverpool live, televised game. The match is over by 6pm, and already I find myself struggling with the annoyance of work 2moro; that I've been up for 4 hours and have only another 4 hours before I have to go back to bed again!

As has become a recent tradition, Sunday night, I'm full of uncertainty and unease over ending my last relationship. Even though I tell myself that midweek, things will become clear again once doubt is surpassed by the reasons for our break up, it don't help me feel any better. In an attempt to break-out of the downward spiral, I decide that today I need to achieve something of worth (however minimmal) and so I make some minor changes to the website. It ain't quite my original plan of implimenting Paypal payments on the site, but it's better than nothing, I suppose.

Go to bed wishing I was rich enough not to have to get up and work... ever again!

To finish on a plus; I'm continuing not to smoke at home in the evenings; there is still a craving, for sure, but it's definitely not as strong as it was two weeks ago - I know that I can lose the need to, just so long as I don't relapse!

2005-05-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

After getting up late and eating lunch round my parents, I spend much of the afternoon on mundane activities like sending email and tidying my flat. Before I can take stock of the day, it is already 7pm and time to head out!

Head to the Keystone where two groups converge: Millmead players celebrating the end of the season and the rest of my mates who have agreed to come here to keep the logistics simple since several of us (myself included) are Millmead players. Yes, indeed, my two run ons as sub do count for something! There's a good turn out from both groups and it's a hugely enjoyable night out, made even more memorable by a good covers band playing in the corner opposite the bar. They even play an excellent cover version of Suede's Animal Nitrate.

The Millmead guys head off to Ha Ha bar, while I meet up with G & Jo. We attempt to join the others in Ha Ha for a couple, but the queue has already grown ridiculously and so we take the easy/cheap option and head back to G & Jo's place. Have a great time until dawn breaks and reminds me that it's time to head home!

2005-05-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

This morning while on the customer's site, I mention the edgyiness that I felt in town last night. The guys I'm working with ask me which part of the city I was in, so I name a few bars.
"That was the safe bit of Nottingham!" They exclaim.

Well, that's reassuring to know - Almost as reassurring as the next comment: "Yeah, but Nottingham does has the highest incidents of gun crime in the UK."

Great. Thank God I get to leave this place (AKA The Bronx) early afternoon. Because the reception for XFM is still 100 miles away, I listen instead to Colin & Edith's show on Radio One while driving home and find find myself laughing out loud as Edith accidentally refers to Revenge of the Sith (Star Wars Episode III) as Revenge of the Stiff. Apparently I'm not the only one to notice, since the two DJs are suddenly swamped by text messages suggesting other names for Star Wars movies of a 'similar genre' (ie porn films). Obviously an early PM show means they are only able to repeat a few of the suggested film titles 'live on air'. In the end, however, I manage to attain all the titles by utilising several obvious clues as well as my own initiative:-
Star Whores, Empire Strikes Twat, Return of the Japs Eye,
The Phallic Menace, Attack of the Moans, Revenge of the Stiff

I make it back to Woking in just under four hours which, considering it's a friday afternoon (meaning that half the UK's workforce shuts up shop and leaves early) is relatively good timing.

Later in Sainsburys, I bump into a girl on the till that I recognise from somewhere. It transpires that we both attended the same Creative writing course last year. She informs me that she has had 5 stories published since completing the course, and is halfway through writing a book; impressive stuff, indeed! It's a fleeting moment, due to customers queing up behind me, but I briefly inform her about Notes from a Barstool and say it'll be great if she can submit a story. in response, she gives me her email address, in order that i can send her more info.

In the evening I meet up with Lee & Ali and Sara at the Oak. Jim is out with work colleagues and joins us part way through the evening. At last orders I head down to Ha Ha with Jim & Sara in order to a) meet up with Jim's work colleagues and b) to carry on drinking for a while longer. Eventually we tire of the night and leave... heading home via KFC (for a chicken fillet burger naturally).

2005-05-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

Postcard from Nottingham:

This morning I was first at the polling booth as it opened at 7am. After casting my vote, I jumped in the car and drove up here in an amazing time of two and three quarter hours. Started work at about 10am and had left the place by 5pm. Headed straight to my 4 star hotel to live like a king (for one night only). As soon as I'd checked in, I made sure to get my (company's) money's worth and immediately used the gym and swimming pool.

After all that exercise, I was beginning to get hungry, so I left the Hotel and had a wander in order to find a place for dinner. The City centre was full of "rude boys" ie wanna-be-'hoods - there is a real uneasyness to this place - it's like a riot is about to kick off at any second.

Settled on a meal-for-one at Zizzi's and felt like Alan Partridge as I waited for my food - why do restaurants not keep a stock of newspapers for people eating alone?! . Had Lasagne de Bologne with a side salad. Wandered around some more and read total film mag at a nice bar, then went back to the hotel and after a nightcap of a couple more pints in the hotel bar, finally went to bed.

2005-05-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow and Friday I'll be working in Nottingham. Thankfully I'm office-based today which means I get time to hunt around for a half-decent place to stay. My allowable price cap on a room is £80, which means it's a struggle to hit anything beyond three stars. Then I hit on the idea of contacting a London based-employee (at the same company) in order to discover where they stay when they head up to Nottingham. Eventually I have the information I need; they usually stay at the Royal Nottingham Moat House Hotel on a nicely discounted room-rate.

Naturally then, the obvious plan is to call the hotel and pretend to be an employee at the same company... The plan works a treat and I get a room for £75.

News of the day is that myself and my friend shelve our house sharing idea for the time being, since her boyfriend has suggested she move in with him and so she is currently considering this option. In terms of my plans to move to Guildford, I guess this puts things on hold temporarily, since I will definitely need to wait until at least July when my contractual notice period will drop to one month. I guess then, that I will review the situation in the summer when I can be sure whether I will be going for a one bed place on my own, or a two bed place and sharing.

Due to the impending Nottingham trip, I will need to be at the polling booth when it opens at 7am, in order to make my vote count before I hit the road.

I decide to check out my local candidates and am almost swayed into voting for Labour simply because their 29 year old candidate (Eleanor Blagbrough) is reasonably attractive:-
http://www.labour.org.uk/maps/locinfo.phtml?ctid=2875

2005-05-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

Back to work with a vengance and a kick-ass, twelve hour day.

Celebrate my survival, by returning home via KFC (thank God for small mercies). Evening meal is a Fillet Tower Burger (naturally).

Too dead to do anything other than to start watching Godfather Part III. Ironically the pace of the film seems to match my worn out demeanour, since not a lot seems to happen. To sum it up, the movie is not unlike the experience of sitting in a dentist's waiting room, spellbound by an aquarium of tropical fish; watching them swim in circles.

2005-05-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

A Monday without work; yeah!!!

I wake, noticing that the chest-of-drawers beside the bed has toppled over, spilling clothes, books and... 500 air-gun pellets all over the carpet! My initial guess that it happend while I was sleeping is prooved wrong when I notice that teh glass of water is stangding upright on the floor, half-full, whiel a couple of T-shirts are soaked in water. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that it must have fallen over while I was still concious, at which point I picked up the glass, layed on the bed and fallen sound asleep (in a drunken stupor).

As well as collecting up 500 air-gun pellets, I spend most of the day tidying the house and writing up nearly a week's worth of this weblog; two jobs, recently foresaken when last weeks' workload reached critical meltdown - as I worked long hours for my company and struggled to make dramatic alterations to Notes from a Barstool.

Yet even though it's a Monday and there are only four, working-days lined up ahead, it is still not good enough. Yes indeed, dusk smothers the day and starts to sing the "Sunday-night Blues".

2005-05-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

By the time I get back from Ben's place, it's almost time to head out for the pre-planned lazy afternoon beside the River Wey. Fortunately Dave & Nat help me out tremendously with the offer of a lift and this just about allows me time to shower and eat something. Meet up with Allen & Zoe & little Holly, Matt & Lou, Hannah & Clive and Dave W. Myself, Matt, Clive & the two Daves all take off to a nearby football pitch to hurl around an Aerobie. It keeps us amused for at least an hour.

We head back to the girls (and Al), by which time Lee & Ali have arrived (having come on from a family BBQ). After chatting, reading the paper and more "Aerobie", food becomes the main topic of conversation. Eventually we decide to head to the White House for bar food. After eating, we move on to the Keystone, meet up with Paolo, and drink a Hell of a lot of beer.

Bank holiday weekends; don't you just love 'em!

2005-04-30T23:57:00.000-07:00

Spend most of the morning making changes to the cover and editorial text of Notes from a Barstool. This turns out to be especially fortunate, since I receive a text from Natalie around noon; she has some spare time this afternoon to go through changes with me. Agree to meet at 14:30 (at her place). With an enforced dealine in place, I find the necessary inspiration to finish off my content ammendments.

Over at Natalie's, I explain the design changes, which include implimenting an inside front/back cover design as well as a adding a couple more illustrations. Then we go through formatting and content alterations. All-in-all, the whole process takes about 1.5 hours, which ain't at all bad.

Evening is Jo's (Graham girlfriend's) birthday. I meet up with G, Jo, Ben, Tau & Nicky at Pizza Express at 9pm. After we head to Ben's place in Milford for more beers, partying and Monopoly! We all stay over at Ben's on account that it is miles from anywhere; apparently the taxi fare is about £30 back to Guildford! We stay up until about 3:30AM and crash out on the floor.

2005-04-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

Finally: last day of work before the 3 day, Bank Holiday weekend!

Check the weather for the next few days and discover that the Sunday looks particularly good (max. temperature of 25!). I send out an email suggesting that we should all meet up somewhere in Guildford on Sunday PM. The response is particularly enthusiastic and the River bank opposite the Weysider pub is agreed on as the venue.

Manage to leave the customer's site at 4pm, which is a God-send, because I have to fight through the Bank Holiday traffic to get home. Sensibly avoid the M25 and travel cross-country in (relatively) reasonable time.

Lee and Ali are out tonight (as are Jim & Sara), so we decide to celebrate their return at the Oak - basically it's a great excuse for beers! Receive two cool presents from them; Green China Tea and an O'Neil shirt. Get the low-down on their trip which includes the following destinations: China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand.

2005-04-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

I utilise the working day for my own benefit as well as my company's. Not only am earning (my company) good money, by doing very little, but I also take the bull by the horns and begin to get Notes from a Barstool under control.

I begin the day by alerting Allen to the likely print delay and also begin conversing with Natalie over some of the design changes that now need to be implimented. Eventually i suggest that we meet up again, since it'll be easier due to the high volume of changes that we may be looking at. Finally I discuss the whole Issue 1 release date scenarion with Nick, and decide that the last possible release date is September 2nd. It has to be; we fly out to Thailand for a 2 week holiday on the 3rd! This means that Issue 1 (Autumn Issue) has a confirmed release date.

With these duties done, I decide to push the publication to the back of my mind until the weekend; it's definitely time to take a step back... for a few days at least.

Good news of the day is that Lee is back! He and Ali arrived back in the UK this AM and Lee is at football in the evening. It's a good thing too, because numbers-wise, things are getting kind of desperate. Due to injuries and other absentees, it's only 4 vs 3 2nite.

2005-04-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

At 10pm Nick phones with his verdict on the publication. Half an hour later we end our conversation and as i hang up, I realise from Nick's comments that a lot more thought and alterations will be necessary before the publication can go to print. Contrary to my belief earlier in the day, that we were a couple of days away from printing Notes from a Barstool, I now realise that a couple more weeks is a more accurate estimation.

Most gauling news is that realistically, a summer launch date for issue 1 is out-of-the-question:
As a quarterly publication we ideally need to hit the regular publishing deadlines for each season [e.g. publish in June for summer months; Jun, July & Aug or publish in September for Autumn; Sept, Oct, Nov] Consequently I realize that there is no way we can possibly publish in time for summer. Even if we were to publish in August, it would be too late in the season and throw us out for subsequent seasons. Instead, we need to look to Autumn and September in particular. This will also keep us nicely on track for a Winter/Xmas issue.

Right now I'm tired and unable to immediately achieve solutions to some of the other problems. I retire to bed feeling dejected and useless.

2005-04-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

Daytime: I'm back at the office, which effectively equates to a lie-in (of sorts).

Evening: I undertake some more proofing of the publication and finally update the website since I realise that it has been nearly four weeks since the last update - oops! Specifically I ammend the schedule of issue launch dates and also include nfab's new PO Box no. In addition to this I also make some general wording & formatting alterations.

2005-04-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

I arrive home from work at 6:30pm and discover that Natalie has emailed me an updated PDF; this one containing all updates to the inside pages of the publication (as discussed yesterday). I get to work proofing the copy and aside noticing some minor formatting idiosyncracies (uneven line spacing, font sizing etc), I notice one particular glaring error in my editorial content that I'd missed previously. In fact, this whole experience has made me realise that no matter how many times you check something out, one or two mistakes will always sneak through! I guess that part of the problem occurs, because there are always sections of text that will sound succinct one day and clumsy the next... and of course, whenever you alter something, there's a good statistical chance that a typo will be left in the mix.

In case you're wondering, I've not smoked since Saturday night. It's still hard-work going without a cigarette during the week, but I know that once I break the mental routine that I've been used to, things will get easier.

2005-04-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

Sunday feels just as hectic as Saturday - this is largely down to the fact that in getting up at noon, I leave myself half-a-day in which to achieve a day's worth of tasks - Oops!

I'm over at Nat's by 14:15 having already washed, eaten and shopped. Dave is hungover from post-pub beers at Nicks (last night) and is consequently slumped, suffering on the couch. It's a major relief that I don't feel the same since myself and Natalie need to work on Notes from a Barstool. We get down to work and go through the ammendments one-by-one with Natalie immediately making any straightforward changes on her laptop. After the dull stuff is out of the way, we work on the cover ideas and Natalie quickly achieves a design that I'm totally happy with. All this is achieved in a time slot that takes up a mere 1.5 hours!

Back home I spend a couple of hours figuring out a computing problem for the guy who 'donated' the scanner to me - OK, so I guess the two hours that I spend mean that the scanner isn't totally free afterall! There ain't no such thing as a free lunch, right?!

As it hits 9pm, I decide to watch the Godfather, because I really must force myself to relax for some of Sunday!

2005-04-23T23:57:00.000-07:00

Wake early and after ammending a graphic that will appear on the back page of nfab, I head straight into guildford. Even though it's a damp, overcast day, there are already a lot of people about... and it's only 10am! In a couple of hours, Guildford will be bombarded by the warheads-on-wheels; 4x4s, MPVs and SUVs complete with their devastating payload; RAMS (Rich, Arrogant Mothers from Surbia) and their painfully in-your-face kids. Naturally I take stock of this incoming nuclear threat and calculate that one hour's parking is the most I can risk before all Hell breaks loose.

Make a few (unexciting but essential) purchases and also discover a new surf shop called Just Add Water at the top of town. I check the place out, but no single item of clothing stands out enough to make me part with my hard-earned cash.

Head back home and dedicate a couple of hours to ebay. During this time I:- List an item that I hope to sell for £80, research the names of US ebayers prepared to sell SNES games to the UK (for my bro) and begin to search for another DECT twin phone set, but am disappointed that the ones I'm interested in aren't selling at cheaper prices.

After a fleeting visit to my parent's place for lunch, I drive to Nick's house. He shows me his proof of Nat's .PDF and explains the reasons for his alterations/recommendations. It's all good stuff, especially his idea to use the old type-writer font (as seen @ www.notesfromabarstool.com) for each occurance of 'notes from a barstool' in the copy.

Drive back home from Guildford for the second time today and spend about an hour and a half, combining mine and Nick's alterations (essentially making lots of yellow highlighter marks all over a print out of Nat's .PDF)

Eventually evening arrives and spares me from my hectic schedule. Nick & Jo, Dave & Nat and Matt & Lou are all going for a meal first. I decide that joining them in a pub after they've eaten is probably the sensible option (seeing as I'm going to shortly be forking out a fortune on the printing costs of Notes from a Barstool). I head arrive in town at 20:45. Unfortunately as soon as I step off the bus in Guildford, I find that Nick and the others are an hour behind schedule and Jim is now staying in with Sara. The resultant bad news is that I have an hour to kill without company and eventually fall apart and find myself at cigarette machine in the Royal Oak where the inevitable happens and I purchase a pack of Marlboro Lights. D'oh!

I take the moment in my stride though and don't chatise myself too much. The important thing is that I need to make sure I continue to give up after today is done and dusted. The other good news is that I'm sure that phychologically, the routine of not smoking at home will be much easier than last week, since this is a habit I have managed to break... and one I don't wish to begin again!

Tonight is Mary and Ray's last night at the Oak. On account that the Notes from a Barstool marketing issue will not be out for another week, I decide to work an angle and find out about the new owner. Get the low-down from Mary that a 33 year old female will be taking charge of the place. I give Mary a business card to pass on, so at least she'll be made aware of Notes from a Barstool, prior to my eventual approach.

At about 21:30 I receive a text (finally) informing me that me that Nick et al are en route to the Kings Head.

I must still have a business hat on, because I speak to Jo about marketing plans for Notes from a Barstool. The long and short of our conversation is that she'll email me shortly with some questions I'll need to repond to in order to achieve a focus for the imminent marketing campaign.

Last orders come and we're turfed out onto the street. Nick announces that his house is tonight's venue for post pub drinks. But instead of Nick's place I head to Graham and Jo' s for much the same. Eventually the post pub venues close for the night and bed becomes my inevitable destination.

2005-04-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

Help with an office move in Walton on Thames - most of my job involves standing arounding not doing a lot.

It's kind of good that I have no plans to go out 2nite, since my list of things to do over the weekend, needs a list of people to do it all for me!

Main duty of the night is to proof Natalie's PDF of Notes from a Barstool. Apart from some formatting issues (eg italics seem to have been stripped from the content), most of the mistakes are ones that myself and Nick somehow missed first time around. Oops! Once the task is complete, i reward myself by relaxing with some red wine while watching the first two episodes from Series One of Little Britain.

2005-04-21T23:05:00.000-07:00

A customer gives me a free (FREE!) scanner today, along the lines of "It was brought for one of the directors, but now he decides he doesn't want it... and I don't want it cluttering up my fucking work area!"

Fair enough I figure as I load the £90 scanner into my car - I'm sure I can find a use for it somewhere!

While driving home, I hit the 3 lane, 40mph section of the North Circular near Staples Corner. Today the stretch of road is full of moronic, middle lane road hogs, who are unable to accelerate past 30mph. To make matters even more irriating a man in an MR2 takes me at a set of traffic lights - another obstacle on my route home! It#'s at this point as road rage is about to consume me, that the traffic lines acsross all three lanes, lines up perfectly, and I weave in and out of the three lanes and somehow get through, ahead of the MR2! By now we're both hitting 60mph and already pushing on 70mph. He is right on my bumper as we scream around a sweeping corner... and then I see the cops up ahead putting out copnes around a broken down car. They look up in shock as both of us slam on the brakes, making urgent "slow it down!" signs with their hands.

I move into the inside lane and wait as the MR2 driver draws level, at which point we just look at each other and burst out laughing - at our stupidity, no doubt.

Back home I find an email from Natalie in my Inbox; it's a PDF of her design for Notes from a Barstool and it's superb! It's an amazing moment for me, because finally Notes from a Barstool is coming alive.

There's also a letter from the Royal Mail's PO BOX team, which means that there is now an address to send submissions to:-

Notes from a Barstool, PO BOX 1126, Woking, GU22 2AE

"I love it when a plan comes together" (to quote the legendary John "Hannibal" Smith).

2005-04-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

Work takes up far too much of my time today!

Once the inconvenience (that pays my bills) is out of the way, I head over to Nick's to watch Chelsea vs Arsenal. Due to a lack of attendees for the pub plan, the venue has now switched to the cheaper alternative that is Nick's sofa and a couple of cans of beer. Must admit the idea is welcomed by me, since the temptation to have a cigarette is minimal by comparison.

The game ends nil-nil, which is probably a result favoured by both teams. Chelsea have all but won the Premiership now, so it was largely a "playing for pride" game by Arsenal. When the game ends, we switch over the TV channel to check on Everton vs Man Utd. Good news is that not only are Everton still 1-0 up, but Gary Neville has just been sent off; for kicking the ball into the crowd. Then the good news gets even better as we watch Man Utd drop down to nine players when Paul Scholes gets sent off for a trademark dirty tackle. It's at this point that the two managers begin to argue vehemently with one another. Quality.

2005-04-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

My friend finds another possible property to rent in Guildford, but when she calls the agency, they inform her that it was let yesterday. D'oh!

Meanwhile the phone call comes in from the guy @ the Sunday Times and I discuss the pros and cons of using the p2p application edonkey for the alleged download of illegal music files. Who knows, if I'm lucky, I may get an anonymous quote out of it.

Kev has smoked a couple of cigarettes today at work, though I'd question how much he's crumbled on his mission to quit, since I'd suggest that a cigarette at work is more about keeping sane with a break, than a need for the Nicotine.

Tonight my need for the drug is so intense and my desire for a smoke so strong, that I start to question the validity of my exercise in giving up. But from somewhere (the recesses of my mind) I recall that the third day can be particularly tough, because the novelty of quitting starts to wear thin. God, I hope that I've recalled that correctly; I'm not sure how many more days of this shit I can endure!

Spend approximately an hour writing some explanatory notes on edonkey which I email to my contact @ the Sunday Times. Finish with a desperate paragraph along the lines of "chuck me any work you might have going, because I'll do anything to see my name in print"... so yes, that's probably the last I'll hear from them. After the last word is written I'm dying for a celebratory fag.

Tomorrow I will be meeting Nick at the White House, to watch Arsenal vs Chelsea. This will undoubtably be a make-or-break moment in realizing how mentally strong I am... in my dumb arsed mission to live a few days longer. As a result of this I endeavour to drink a can of beer without the aid of a cigarette (but with crisps and nuts on hand instead). The moment passes without undue complication and I immediately feel calmer. I start to question if all my nervous energies are actually being created by lack of alcohol?!

Then when I'm trawling the web, I read a great quote which immediately picks me out as likely to fail in my crazy mission:-
'Attempting an uneducated quit is like trying to land a plane without putting the wheels down' [from Joel's Library @ www.whyquit.com]

Ok, so it's looking like I'd better to get my dumb ass educated!

And indeed, it's worth my while; I find some useful information while online. I also realise that two weeks is the yardstick by which I need to aim for, in order to get over the worst of these bastard cravings. Sure two weeks is a long time, but then again it ain't an eternity. It's achievable, right?

2005-04-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

There are a hundred and one jobs to do onsite today. I complete about ten and leave at 16:30; thank God I'm contracted.

Back home, I'm reminded continually that I'm a non smoker. Virtually every thought fills me with a longing to have a drag. Jesus, why can't this insessent battering of my will, stop?! After I've eaten dinner, I busy myself with cleaning the kitchen. It works for a while, but there's a limit to how long a sane individual can stay sane doing this kind of shit. Call time on the cleaning and grab my weights. I begin a brief workout which gets the Oxygen coarsing through me.

Watch Fifty First Dates which is quite literally the worst, goddamn film I've ever seen. But I force myself to watch it all the way through, just because it's something to do to take my thoughts from having a smoke! Arghhhh!

2005-04-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

This Sunday is largely a nothing day. It's one of those days when you do a lot, but at the same time you don't really feel like you've done much. The only vaguely productive thing I achieve is to create a larger editorial picture for Natalie (since the last one I sent her was too small and became pixelated when she enlarged it). Apart from this, it's a day of minor repairs, cleaning and general household chores... and by the end of it, the place still looks the same.

Bizarrely it also becomes a day of temperance. I decide today (largely spurned on by Kev doing the same at work) that I really ought to try to give up... or (at the very least) cut down my evening cigarette intake.

If I'm being straight with you, over the last three months my smoking has in no way become prolific, but it has certainly increased. Whilst I don't generally smoke Mon-Fri during the day, it has recently become a routine for me to smoke 3 cigarettes most weekday evenings when I'm home (and even more when down the pub). It seems obvious to me that this is almost certainly a habit and similarly this means I have in effect become an addict again. Hmmm.

The first time I gave up smoking was on New Year's Day 2002. Before this date I was probably a 20-a-day smoker. Back then, I gave up at the same time as my housemate Matt and I guess the effective competitive angle (if I have a cigarette and Matt doesn't, then I've effectively lost) created an ideal opportunity for me to be finally free of the nicotine after nearly ten years. Remarkably it seemed to work and I managed to spend about 24 months, as a non smoker.

Problem is, when you have an addictive personality (as i almost certainly do), it's very hard to refuse drugs, cigarettes and alcohol at the best of time and damn near impossible to say no when you're feeling unhappy. Looking back I know that part of the reason for starting smoking again was that I was unhappy in my last relationship. Not that I saw this at the time of course. At the time, it just manifested itself as a curiousity to taste a cigarette again; "just a couple of drags mate, that's all!" and then; "one cigarette won't hurt" and "I only smoke when I'm drinking".

But really there's always gonna be something that makes you unhappy, so the unhappiness is really an excuse more than anything else - an excuse for my weakness. Like when my "unhappy realtionship" ended a couple of months ago and I became even more unhappy that I was alone... and my smoking and drinking sky-rocketed out of all control. I guess things have calmed slightly since then, but again I'd reiterate the sentence in the third paragraph where I acknowledge that I am walking that line again, that something needs to be done to break the habit.

So what am I really saying in my words above? Am I talking about giving up? Hell, I don't really know. I never said I was giving up the first time, but it happened... thing is, the addict's cliche of 'one day at a time', really is the only way to play it. If you suddenly think; I'm quitting forever, it can never work, because the enormity of what you have to do (for the rest of your life), becomes too great. Just saying 'I'll be clean for today' is a much easier proposition to deal with. And of course, by writting easier, I most definitely, don't mean easy:-

At 20:00 I nearly crack. I grab a beer and am about to have a smoke. I torture myself by finishing the entire can of Carlsberg, yet somehow I avoid lighting up, but only just. Incredible.

There's no let up. It's 21:00 and I'm climbing the fucking walls. It's Hell. It's also far worse than I remembered. All I can think of is how much I desire a cigarette. I begin eating all kinds of crap. Crisps, toast, anything. Man, I can't stop.

By 22:00 I feel thoroughly depressed. Of course, this may not be the nicotine withdrawl, but simply the fact that it's Sunday night again and I have to get up at 6:20AM tomorrow.

23:00 I get into bed, pissed-off that I'm going to bed early, but relieved that I lasted the day; my first for a long while as a non smoker.

2005-04-16T23:29:00.000-07:00

Saturday is a strange day in that it flies by at a ridiculous speed and is apparently gone in 60 seconds:-

I wake early, grab a cereal and write an email to Anna. It gets to 10am and last night's elongated party session gets the better of me; sensibly I return to my bed for another hour. Get up (properly this time) at 11:30am and I'm out of the house by noon. Drive to the Varsity centre and meet up with Nick and Dave M to watch the FA Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Blackburn. Arsenal win 3-0 with two great, late goals from super-sub Robin Van Persie.

After the game, Jim and several of the Millmead players turn up ready for a game against bottom of the table side; Queen Street Rangers. Deciding that I need to get my car back home and then get my ass back into Guildford, Nick kindly offers to follow me home, then drive me back to the Varsity centre in his new Golf GTI. And fairplay it has an incredible acceleration when the turbo kicks in!

Back at the Varsity Centre, I join Jim and Hanna on the side-lines and watch Millmead win 5-1. After post-match beers (back in the good ole Varsity bar) myself and Jim drive into town in his Daihatsu Copen. For the second time that day I'm treated to the joys of a turbo and the need for speed.

Paolo also gets dropped into town and after a brief discussion the three of us decide on Bar Centro for dinner. The pizza is mighty fine and not too expensive either. I think that this is possibly the first time I've eaten out for about 3 months!

Eventually we head to the Three Pigeons and join Allen for his 31st birthday (happy birthday Albert!). Also attending are:- Zoe (obviously!), Dave M & Nat, Clive & Hanna, Matt & Lou, Adie & Caroline, Nick (Al's old neighbour) & his missus (who's name I've forgotten), Paul B. (Al's bro) & Lucy.

Spend most of my time at the pub, drinking soft drinks - because I drank far too much all day! But the good thing is that this temperance means I don't get too drunk, so i can at least enjoy conversation! Specifically I catch up with Paul & Lucy - I guess it's been about two years since I last spoke to them and then I hear the news of the night when Nat informs me that she's not far off completing the publishing of the marketing issue of notes from a barstool! Hopefully within the next week, the publishing should be completed.

Share a cab with Paolo, Clive & Hanna. Then just as I'm getting into bed, Graham texts me to say that he Jo and several others are just beginning a wild party round his place. Realise that as much as I'd like to, by body is actually physically incapable of doing this; the last few days have destroyed me and I'm just far too tired to do anything. Even if I get a cab to his place, all I will be doing is sleeping. Text him back saying; "Sorry mate, but I'm practically dead." I guess it ain't too far from the truth either!

2005-04-15T23:55:00.000-07:00

No rest for the wicked. Wake up feeling exhausted, but at least I get to work on time. Apart from managing to get through the day without falling asleep - an achievement, indeed - I also manage to print and assemble Allen's card.

Receive an email during the day from a guy @ the Sunday Times. He writes with regard to my emailed comments on p2p file sharing and music downloads (see blog entry dated Mar 25). Specifically he asks:- "Would it be possible to speak to you about this (my useage of edonkey's p2p file sharing network) next week - about your feelings, positive or negative, on this network and how it compares to other such services?". Arrange for him to call me next Tuesday.

Tonight, Lee R is out and makes my life easier by giving me a ride into Guildford. We head to the Ha Ha Bar and catch up over several beers. Graham and Jo drop by at about 22:00, then at 23:30 the four of us head back to my place. Tipper (G and Jo's dog) joins us too, making a party of five. We stay up drinking, talking, making videos, watching videos and shooting cans with an air pistol! Eventually 4am rears its ugly head; the party animals head home and I head to bed.

2005-04-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

Wake up and realise I'm holding my alarm clock. I'm also extremely hungover. I check the time; it's 7:45. Realisation dawns... Shit, I've overslept my alarm by half an hour!

Jump out of bed and I'm about to phone work to warn them I'll be late, when I remember that I'm working in Victoria (London) today. Man, what a nightmare. Drive into Woking, leave my car at a carpark, then get the train. Things go reasonably smoothly, though and I gratefully stop for some breakfast at Maccy Ds. Get to site half an hour late (which when all things are considered, ain't too bad), spouting some half-baked excuse about my car battery being flat. Work is an extreme effort today and it's a great relief for me when I complete all site tasks by 13:45. Celebrate by downing a couple of Ibropropen kindly donated by one of the PAs and then head back to the office.

Get a call mid afternoon from Victoria (letting agent) RE: Denzil Road; the property we're due to view this weekend. Unfortunately it has been let today at the asking price of £900pcm. I'm fairly disappointed and I think that Clare is too. For all our uncertaincies about moving into a place, I think we'd both quite looked forward to viewing the place on Sat. Ah well, guess there's no real rush. In some ways I guess I need some time to roll by, so that I can fall into my new contractual period and thus require only a single month's notice.

Five o'clock eventually comes round and I'm home shortly after. It takes a couple of hours, but I manage to finish off the card for Allen and email the .JPEG images to my work address ready to print out tomorrow. After a quick bite to eat and a quick change, it's straight off to football. Tonight the numbers are down and we only manage 4-a-side. Having said that, it's quite an enjoyable, fast-paced game. Everyone has a good game, but my side does that little bit more; we win a tightly fought 60min game by a single goal! Tell Dave about the card and he reminds me that I did in fact make a card for Allen last year afterall; "the one with girls holding power tools!"
Damn.

After post-football beers, i stop by Graham's to drop off Layer Cake. Jo comes back home (from London) soon after and we all end up watching the film. Before we know it, it's 3am! I head home and collapse into bed.

2005-04-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

I remember that it's Allen's 31st birthday this Sat. Due to the birth of his first child at the start of last year, and other hectic goings ons, Allen didn't really get around to celebrating his 30th. I guess in a sense then, that this is his 30th celebration, one year late!

Due to the fact that I made home-made cards for all the guys' 30th birthdays, and never got around to doing one for Al, I decide to get my ass in gear and dig out some photos from a trip to Amsterdam that myself Allen and Dave M undertook when we were younger - man, I can't even remember when it was?! At lunchtime I drive to my parents and scan these onto a CD.

After work I begin arranging and altering the photos in Photoshop. I have an idea what the end product will be, but unfortunately cannot achieve it tonight, since I have to leave and head to Guildford to meet Allen, Nick & Jo and Ben (Jo's bro). The plan is to have a few drinks and watch the Juventus vs Liverpool game.

Arrive at the White House at quarter to eight and manage to get a table, ideally positioned for the televised game. Remarkably we watch Liverpool hold Juve to a nil-nil draw, which means they win 2-1 on aggregate and go through to the Champion's League semi final where they will play Chelsea.

Drink about 6 pints before I get the last train home; this will undoubtably mean that tomorrow will be painful.

2005-04-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

It's kind of nice to be back in the crazy office environment again. Kev is in a really bad mood today on account of taking Zyban (the new wonder drug that aids quitting smoking). But the cool thing is that a) he knows he is and b) it's quite amusing watching as he rips anyone to shreds who so much as tests his patience. On account of there being several dumb asses that work here, this happens quite often! Apparently you still smoke for the first week, then quit when you up the dose (of Zyban) to two-a-day, in a week's time. I don't smoke at work, but even I join him for a couple today on account that he asks me to - there's absolutely no bloody way I'm risking his wrath by refusing!

The CD currently playing in my car is by a band called Ambulance Ltd. For a new, unhyped band, it's pretty good stuff. Their style seems to move across several genres, yet as an album it still rolls effortlessly through the tracks from start to finish. The first four songs are definitely worth a listen. Mercury Rev's new album is also well worth a listen - but more so as a soundtrack for "chilling out" to (as oppossed to "driving" to).

Two albums that I'm not so sure about, are the recent releases from British Sea Power and Idlewild. Both have received good critical acclaim, though I'm struggling to see why?! The former vocalist sounds uninspiring, and unmelodic - OK, so his lyrics say something about how we're f*cking up the earth... but so f*cking what?! Idlewild on the other hand have transgressed their efforts; from being shit to being ever-so-slightly-better-than-shit. Currently they think they're REM, although they obviously aren't getting the fact that copying a style is one thing... but you still need to write good songs.

Finally I check out Natalie Imbruglia's (yes, you can take the piss out of me for this) new effort. All I'll say is that her album is so middle-of-the-road, that if your car broke down, you'd never make it off the tarmac. This of course means, that if you like Natasha Beddingfield and Dido, you'll love this. [Jim, you'll want to check this one out!]

2005-04-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

Even though I leave the house at 7am, remarkably a new route to South Croydon gets me to site at 8.00am - sometimes there's something to be said for winging-it. The day is relatively trouble-free, and the good news just keeps on coming:-

Landlady calls to say that she'll change my contract to one month's notice (no charge!)
Speak to letting agent and arrange a viewing on a Guildford property for this Saturday
And best of all; my 7.5 (contractual) hours come to an end at 16:30!

And so I leave my place of work while the sun shines and the summer songs play on the radio. I must be feeling really good, because I even treat my car to a carwash on the way back home.

In the evening I chill out on the sofa with yesterday's Sunday Times. Just as I'm feeling completely relaxed I chance upon an interview with the "journalist" Plum Sykes... or more accurately a "reality-phobe with a brain in her bean". Simply to antagonize you all too, I'll leave you with some of her "journalistic" wisdom on holidays:-

On Ibiza: 'We were forced to go clubbing a couple of times and there were loads of people jumping up and down in foam, and I thought, "How unhygienic." '

On Colorado: 'We had our own, gorgeous, 1930s-style log cabin... the interior looked like a Ralph Lauren shoot...'

On her husband (and walking holidays): 'I remember the first time he suggested it to me [hiking], I burst into tears. He made me go to this awful hiking shop to buy hiking clothes which I hated.'

2005-04-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

In stark contrast to Friday's freak, cold spell, today is warm and gloriously sunny. Wake with relative time to appreciate it and I'm also pleasantly surprised to discover that I had a successful bid (on ebay) for a twin set of BT DECT cordless digital phones to replace my ageing, malfunctioning set. Best news is that the total price I pay is £36 incl. postage. This is a complete bargain if you compare it to £49.99; the cheapest, online price that I'd previously managed to find!

After such a positive start to the day, it was kind of inevitable that Sunday would hit me where it hurt most:- Two charity workers - a male and a female - call at my door mid afternoon. I recognise their faces - think they were a couple of years below me at secondary school. Later I'm gazing out of my window at a shiny new, Audi A4 convertible sitting in the post office car park... and then I watch incredulously as the two charity workers come into view and get into the automotive goddess. And probably, just because it's Sunday, I fall into the abyss, as I begin to (foolishly) compare my life to others who are younger and more successful than me.

As evening approaches, my 'Sunday night blues' really hit home hard, as I recall that I need to start work in South Croydon tomorrow at 8 (EIGHT!) am. It's at this point that the darkness really f*cking descends. There's no other choice for it but to watch Layer Cake accompanied by my good friend; alcohol.

Strangely my half-arsed plan actually works. The film is actually rather good and uplifts me in the sense that I can appreciate that my life ain't nearly as crazy as the life of the central character in the film. Come to think of it the bottle of wine probably helps too. By midnight my plan for an early night has long since fallen apart and I'm in that druunken "f*ck work" kind of state. All I can do now is set my alarm for 6:30am and hope for the best.

2005-04-09T23:59:00.001-07:00

Having had a relatively "quiet one" last night, i wake at a reasonable hour and even enjoy the luxury of losing my hangover by midday - hurrah!

Place an each way bet on Hedgehunter (9-1 fav) in this year's Grand National. List x3 items on ebay including a Levi's belt (waist 34"-38") which I'd mistakenly purchased for my 30" waist a couple of months back; that will teach me to go shopping after a heavy night out! If the items sell, it's more money towards the Thai holiday fund, or alternatively should just about pay the £54 for the PO Box that will be used for Notes from a Barstool.

Speaking of which... I fill out the PO Box application form as instructed, but cannot find any options allowing me the choice of a delivery office to utilise for the PO Box. While I'd prefer to use the Guildford delivery office, my current address is assigned to Woking, indicating that this is where the Box will be located. The problem with this is that if/when I move to Guildford, I'll have to travel over to Woking each time I want to collect the mail. In the end I write a note on a piece of paper, requesting a Guildford PO Box - in the meantime, I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed!

I also draft out a letter to my landlady asking if the notice period on my flat can be changed from two months to one. Naturally the purpose of this request is to aid my eventual move to Guildford. I guess it's kind of an appropriate time to ask, since my rental contract is up for renewal very soon. I'm not too sure how successful this tactic will prove, but in the end I write up the note and post it through their door. Fingers crossed again!

For the first time in a long while, I notice my free weights sitting on the floor in my bedroom. I also notice the blanket of dust that covers them and remember that the last time that I touched them was when I moved into the flat! God, I'm a lazy bastard! Still aching slightly from Thursday's football, i decide to give my upper body some excercise. To assist me, i quickly build a makeshift bench from my dining room chairs. I manage a few presses and curls, but it's hardly a dedicated workout... more an attempt to feel ever-so-slighly less guilty about deserting my weights for nearly two years.

Arrive in town at half eight and the other guys are already there. Incredibly the Oak is my venue for a second night running; does this mean I can call it my local again? Tonight's party people are Hanna & Clive, Paolo & Dave. Unfortunately Millmead lost 3-1 today, but I'm glad to hear that Clive has finally gotten his first yellow card this season! [I was beginning to worry that he'd turned soft!] Mike (one of the thurs night regulars) is still on his easter break from Leeds Uni and he joins us to celebrate the saturday. Someone mentions that Hedgehunter won the Grand National - D'oh! I'd totally forgotten about my bet. Mind you, it's a good way to be reminded!

At 10pm we up sticks and head for HA HA Bar (open 'til 1am), but the queue is ridiculous. Go to Pews instead, to have a beer while we consider the options for after hours drinking. Eventually we agree on Bar Mambo - this used to be called Bar Zuka and is at least free to get in and is open until late. Everyone chats to some girl at some point. My moment comes when a girl from Portsmouth introduces herself to me (I know she says she's 22, but I really cannot remember her name). We talk for a bit, but on account of the bar closing, her getting a bus back to Portsmouth and me not really fancying her, we really do just chat; nothing else happens. The night draws to a close and I share a cab ride home with Mike and Dave W.

2005-04-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

Kev has to take a day off work today because his little girl is ill (get well soon Jas!). Fortunately it isn't too manic a day and things generally get sorted. Best news is that the backup at the place I'm going to on Monday is now working, so that's one less piece of shit that can hit the fan when I go there! I even get a chance to find another property that looks promising. Unlike the Ludlow Road house, this one is still on the market. [Gascoigne Pees are obviously more ahead of the game than those f*ckwits at Townends]. Try to arrange a viewing on Sat, but all appointments have been booked. Will have to speak to them again on Mon to see if a) the property is still available and b) whether I can make a booking to view it next Sat.

Due to my unscheduled sleep early yesterday evening, I catch up on the story proofs when I get home from work. Just waiting for one story to come back and then everything can be emailed to Nat. Realize that my story needs a correction when I read the label on a packet of ground coffee I've just brought; somehow I've managed to spell Colombia as Columbia - where the Hell is that?!

Jim and Sara are out in Guildford so I get the bus into town to meet up with them. Bizarrely the temperature has got really cold and doplets of ice fall out of the sky and bounce off me while I wait for the bus. Tonight I'm wearing a new tshirt - underneath a ski jacket naturally! - that sports a picture of "God" (Eddie Vedder) on the front of it. It was purchased from a "Clare-recommended" website:- http://www.djtees.com/ ("T-shirts that rock!").

Spend a chilled night, drinking and chatting in Oak - incredibly it's been a whole month since I was last here - and to think I have had the cheek to refer to the place as "my local" in these very pages!

2005-04-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

I'm office based today - originally I was scheduled to attend a site in London. This is good news, because I'm totally knackered after a strangely intermittent night's sleep and can't be arsed to go anywhere. It's a hectic day though and I'm kept busy. I do, however, manage to find time to contact Townends to enquire about the Ludlow property for rent. As you'll gather from this comment, the idea of sharing in Guildford is becoming ever more appealing to me. Unfortunately the agency informs me that their internet listings are well out-of-date and that the property was let a couple of weeks back. Useless bastards. I enquire how much it was let at and discover that it went for only £825 pcm - it was originally listed at £950 pcm!

When I get back home, I realize that I desperately need some sleep. I crash out at 18:30 and set my alarm for 7:30. No, that isn't a typo, I really do set my alarm for 7:30AM! Oops! Due to my oversight, I get woken at 21:10 by my mobile ringtone - it's Hannah asking why I'm not at football! Shit! I quickly throw on my footy gear and race out the door. Incredibly I arrive at football at 21:30 (a quarter of an hour's drive away), it's at times like these when you're thankful to be a bloke.

Play for the last half an hour and am knackered by the end of the game - thank God I didn't play the full hour! Go to the Varsity for a beer (or two) and Jim recounts a story that a girl on his training course told him. Apparently one of her ex boyfriends decided to surprise her with an interesting Valentine's Day present. Bizarrely he'd had his sack and crack (but not his back) waxed, then got her to pull down his trousers and boxers in order to find her present... No it's not quite what you're thinking - apparently he'd placed a silver bracelet round his b*llocks. A romantic idea, I'm sure you'll agree! What didn't shock anyone, is that she dumped him a couple of days later.

2005-04-06T21:58:00.000-07:00

The day of the nightmare job finally dawns. Depart my place at 7:15 and arrive onsite in a suburb of Croydon at about 8:45. Site is in an industrial area near a sewage works. The place sucks (and smells). While I'm there, disaster strikes; the BT line goes down! This means that there is no longer access to external email and the internet. Naturally this impinges on all the other jobs that have been lined up for me to do here today. I finally leave the place (thank god) at 5:40 and get home at 19:15. Welcome back 12 hour days!

Back home I begin checking out the proofs. Spend some time reading through my work and generally most of Nick's suggested changes. Also take on board his comment re: avoiding publishing my address in the editorial... I use my work mobile no. instead and have come up with the idea of using a PO Box for short-story submissions. I check the Royal Mail website and discover that one of these costs £53 a year. To apply I simply need to send off an application form, with payment and some form of ID.

Watch the first ten minutes of Layer Cake (another friend of a friend 'acquisition') in order to check the quality of the ripped DVD, then because I'm too tired for a plot I watch the Punisher instead. This is the most recent of the two films (that share the same name). Interestingly it stars John Travolta as the bad guy. There's several words that comes to mind re: any film featuring John Travolta (and not named Pulp Fiction). Here are four to start with; "F*cking." "Waste." "Of." "Time".

2005-04-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

Sleep - who needs it? OK, I do.

Last night my dreams were interupted by too many nightmares. I guess it was a combination of many things relating to not being secure and possibly spurned on by thought of moving someplace else at a time when I'm not in a relationship, not in a meaningful job and generally wondering where the f*ck my life is going?! To make matters worse I've been assigned a nightmarish placement in Croydon tomorrow; I won't bore you with details, but the thought of going there is getting me down.

Work is work and I scrape through a wholly insecure day feeling worn out, yet unfulfilled by the time 5pm comes. I even manage to screw up by not thinking/talking fast enough when a prospective customer pushes me into a corner over something my company should be doing, but we're not. Sure I'm tired, but that's no f*cking excuse; any thoughts of a career in sales disintergrate at this juncture. I just don't have the necessary calibre to bullshit. It's that simple.

Escape (to some degree) comes in the evening. Nick emails me the proofs - that guy is a legend! I manage to get through most of the changes he highlights and ammend much of my written work. It's a vast improvement. Once the other contributors "OK" the alterations, the marketing issue's content will finally be complete!

2005-04-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

The office is quiet today, but that's fine by me; it sure as Hell makes a beautiful start to the week.

Some interesting news arrives towards the end of the day. A friend who is a) wanting to move out of her parents' place and b) to move closer to her boyfriend has suggested that since we both want to move to Guildford, why not share the rent on a two bedroom house?! To entice me further, she forwards me some links to some online rental listings, all centrally located in Guildford. It's a remarkable coincidence, but the very first property that my friend lists, is in the same road that Nick & Jo currently reside!

OK, OK - time for a reality-check; how ready am I (financially and mentally), to up sticks and leave independence in Mayford for a house-share in Guildford? Like that well-known female trick of figuring out 'how right your partner is for you', I apply the same tactic to this scenario:-

Positive:
Incredibly, not only is this an affordable way of returning to Guildford, but I will also get the added bonus of sharing with a good friend. More specifically, by pooling together resources we can also benefit from renting a house that is well furnished, with two large doubles and even has an extra room known as a garden - something I've recently missed. Location-wise, we should also be able to afford somewhere close to the station and city centre. Having some company whether it be my friend, her boyfriend or anyone else for that matter is another good point.

Negative:
Naturally the one negative aspect is that as I'm currently living alone, it will mean adjusting to sharing a place again. By this, I don't want to be misunderstood (indeed my friend is one of the best people I could possibly share with!) - I'm really only talking about adjusting to those moments where previously you've had free reign to be selfish and not have to consider someone else or their schedule; whether it be cooking food, washing clothes or using the bathroom. And I guess too, there's also the odd, rare occasion where you may need to make yourself scarse from your own house - eg for the odd romantic meal.

But looking at the reasons for & against, I know that the negative points raised are purely down to my attitude - an age old resilience (inherited from my father) that detests the upheaval that any thought of change brings with it. I know, however, from past experience that I'm not as stubborn as my father and so overcoming such hurdles is not beyond the realms of possiblity. It's early days yet, and so I'm still uncertain as to my decision. I will, however, think long and hard about this one, because I don't want to live to regret not making the right choice.

2005-04-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

It goes without saying that Sunday is a total write-off. The only real effort I make today is to buy the Sunday paper, and that in itself is a struggle. In between sleeping and doing f*ck all, I do manage at least to get my blog up to date, which involves typing up about five days worth of material.

2005-04-02T23:20:00.000-08:00

Wake just after noon thinking three things:-
1. My head hurts
2. My cold is really bad
3. Where the f*ck am I?

Look out the window and for one scary second think I've stepped into 'Pleasantville'; sun shining, manicured lawns and kids playing, having fun. Then I realize how rough I feel and figure that this can only be my life after all. I suddenly remember that Anna and the other guys must be back home in Germany already. Bloody Hell - I'd have died if I'd had to fly at 11am today!

Lee drives us to a nearby supermarket and we gather together all the ingredients for a good old English fry-up. Back at the house, Janet works her magic on the breakfast while I sit slumped in a chair watching 'Catch me if you Can'. We eat brunch at half two, then Lee kindly drives me back to my place. Nick phones just as I'm leaving Lee's - he and Matt (currently in training for the London-Brighton bike ride) have cycled round to my place and have found my car, but not me. Think they thought I was dead!

Get back to mine at about 4pm and realise that it's gonna be time to go out again in a couple of hours! Grab a hour's sleep in order to help me stay awake later on!

Eventaully I lose the hangover and meet up with Hanna and Clive at the King's Head at 8:30pm. We stay for an hour, then head to the Keystone to meet up with Nick, Jo, Matt, Lou, Dave, Nat and Stu and Gem (Nick & Jo's friends). It's a good night due to the company and the fact that the effects of my cold are finally beginning to lessen.

At the end of the night, i head to Graham and Jo's place, since there's a possibity that Sarah (a girl who i last saw three years ago) might be dropping by and so it'd be nice to catch up. She doesn't show in the end, but me, Graham and Jo decide to make a party of it anyway. Consequently I don't see my bed until after the sun has come up.

2005-04-01T23:57:00.000-08:00

April Fools Day helps the morning pass; myself and Kevin begin the day by removing keys from computer keyboards and replacing them in the wrong positions. This results in much hilarity as the hapless victims of this classic practical joke, struggle to figure out why their passwords have suddenly stopped working or why their emails are suddenly containing so many typos.

Alistair, one of the engineers, forwards a list of the top five practical jokes that were played out in April 2004, in offices around the UK. We're disappointed to discover that our key swapping idea features at #3 (I guess originality just ain't our thing). In case you're after some inspiration:-

1) Sending a hoax flirt email to a fellow worker from someone else's computer
2) Swapping desk drawers
3) Changing keys on a computer keyboard
4) Covering a telephone receiver with clear sticky tape
5) Gluing mugs to desks.

Perhaps inspired by point 1), Kev signs me up to www.adultfriendfinder.com - a website that claims to be the "World's Largest Sex & Swinger Personals site". Naturally my reaction (rather than to be pissed off) is to embrace this new found culture and to fully investigate the ladies that are on offer... and so I search through the profiles for some hot action in my area. Incredibly I find several attractive local girls who are up for pretty much anything:-
"Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Groups, Couples (two women), Couples (two men) or TS/TV/TG. 27 Yr old living in Guildford"

Unfortunately the options available under my free membership T&Cs are somewhat limited; I can't fully view their profiles and they can't view mine... so attempting a liaison is practically gonna be impossible unless I pay up some cash and become a proper member.

Ah well, if all else fails, I know where to come (cum) back to!

The afternoon drags, but eventually 5pm arrives! Race home and quickly get ready in order to get my ass up to Londinium as soon as possible. For once I am actually somewhat prepared for my journey; I'd purchased an extra sandwich at lunchtime to eat on the train. I grab a supermarket bag and chuck in my 'dinner' and three chilled beers to wash it down with - nice. Walk into Woking (which takes about 30 mins) then get the train.

Arrive at Piccadilly just after 7pm. Get a call from Lee R; he and Janet are slightly delayed. Fortunately I know a nice little pub called the Devonshire Arms which is just 200 yards from Piccadilly Circus, but bizarrely avoids any infestation from the plagues of tourists. I seek refuge at the pub until Lee and Janet arrive, then we head down to Haymarket to Tiger Tiger.

Get in to Tiger Tiger OK, even though the doorman does his usual "you're wearing trainers" routine. Jesus Christ get a f*cking life, I think. Once inside we meet up with several people from the company where L & J work. Since the parent company is based in Germany, this means that most of the people I meet are German (from a place called Mainz). Fortunately, though, they all speak excellent English (which is useful since my German is almost non existent). Meet a lovely girl called Anna - an attractive blonde (in her early twenties), who has an awesome tattoo down her back. Things go so well that we go to find a quieter section of the bar... in order to spend some quality time, getting to know one another better.

The bad news of the night is that unfortunately Anna (and the others) are flying back to Germany tomorrow morning, so our time together is fleeting (to say the least). She gives me her mobile number and email address, which is cool, because I'll definitely like to keep in contact.

It's only then that I realize my last train left an hour ago. Fortunately Lee and Janet had already anticipated this and offer to put me up at their place in Twyford. We make the last train (02:30)back to theirs and eventually hit the sack at 4am.

2005-03-31T23:57:00.000-08:00

My cold kept me awake most of last night, so today is an even harder effort than yesterday. Manage to survive... but only just! Get home and realise that time-wise football is an impossibility. Grab half an hour's shut-eye, then drive to the Varsity centre to meet the boys for a beer after football; it's the very least I deserve!

2005-03-30T23:49:00.000-08:00

Man, I'd forgotten how knackering these 12 hour days were; now I totally remember! Unfortunately I have another lined up for tomorrow! To make matters worse, I've come down with a cold - d'oh!

Almost as soon as I get home from work, I'm driving off out again to pick up Jim (from Sara's) and then we head down to the George Abbott pub in Guildford in order to join Nick, Jo, Matt and Lou for the England game.

England win 2-0 against a team, who's name I cannot be arsed to spell, in the same way that they couldn't be arsed to play against us.

Head home for another early night - bloody work!

2005-03-29T23:00:00.000-08:00

Going back to work after an uneventful weekend comes as somewhat a relief, mainly because it provides me with a much needed focus. In apparent evidence of this fact, I return home after a hard day's work and:-
1) Finally complete the nfab editorial
2) Completely redraft 'From Russia with Love' turning it from a 500 word story with no focus, to a 1000 word story that I am currently describing as a "quirky romance".

After achieving the above, I remember that tomorrow I have to leave the house at 6:30am (in order to get to Finchley for 8:30am) and so I crash out at 11:00pm in preparation of the early start.

2005-03-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

Today I struggle to get out of bed - again! But thankfully I'm more focused than yesterday. Have quite a bit of ebay admin to sort out, so get this out the way first. One thing that I'm currently trying to sort is a transaction involving my payment of $550 for a Canon Powershot from a US seller. I sent an IMO (International Money Order) in the post a while back and am still waiting for the f*cker to send me the item. To compound the problem his account was suspended on ebay. This will obviously protect other people from getting stung by his dodgy trading practices, but it ain't a lot of help to me. I'm currently in email conversation with the guy (which is something), but unfortunately the item hasn't been sent out yet.

On a positive; my Thai holiday fund is looking especially good - two of the three items that I put up on Saturday have sold. Currently the fund is looking impressive at £250! I also work out some HTML code for site redirection. This means that once the domain name registration process is complete for www.notesfromabarstool.co.uk, I can make the site redirect seamlessly to www.notesfromabarstool.com.

It feels so strange that no one is around this Easter - I can't believe that during this four day break, I've just spent one evening with friends. Then again, maybe it's more a case that because I'm single and not hanging out with my girlfriend (it's now been about 7 weeks since we broke up), that I'm just noticing all this? Who knows, but one thing's for sure; it certainly ain't like the old days when we'd spend every single hour of the Easter break down the pub.

And so I stay in and watch Dodgeball. I've seen the film a good few times already but it's certainly worth another hit - mainly because Ben Stiller is a comedy legend.

2005-03-27T23:55:00.000-08:00

Struggle to haul my lazy ass out of bed before noon. Make breakfast/brunch then laze around some more, reading the Sunday Times. Can't believe how big the damn paper is these days; if you read every goddamn word, you've effectively read a novel. I do the usual and throw away Appointments, Business and Money, because I'm too immature for the responsibility that goes with these sections. Admittedly I even glance briefly at the Funday Times, because there's feature on Rachel Stevens, and man does she look hot. Oh, and the main section is usually dull as anything, because it contains politics and news - I mean, who the Hell wants to know about that?

Here's a run down on the sections I read:-
Style - best section by far, because there are guaranteed photos of models not wearing much.
Culture - good for finding out which film, music and books I should be checking out.
Magazine - usually one good feature buried somewhere inside.
Driving - Clarkson's centre review is always worth a read just for comedy value alone.
News - the back page is a good way to keep track of the tabloid news from the previous week. Read this, and you save yourself buying a newspaper throughout the week.
Home - great to flick through and see pictures of all the places I'll never afford.
Travel - another suppliment that offers so much, until you realise 'how much'!

Interestingly, for all the limited bits that I read, it would probably make more sense to go out and buy a magazine like 'Heat' - it would involve the destruction of less trees for a start!

In the evening I watch The Boogeyman. It is fairly banal and apart from the first ten minutes, not particularly scary. It needs to be more tense and not follow the usual idiot screenwriting rule of sending a character to the haunted house all on his own - this kind of ridiculous tactic just makes you hate the character for being so dumb... and because of this, you want the character to die for his stupidity, but unfortunately you know that this is Hollywood and so everything will end A-OK. Damn. The Director should have checked out the spate of Japanese films (The Grudge, The Ring etc) that seem to be doing the rounds at the moment, and learnt a few important lessons on how to terrify an audience.

2005-03-26T23:54:00.000-08:00

Having spent a boring night in on Fri, this morning I wake fairly early. After a nice fry-up, I spend a good couple of hours 'ebaying'. Specifically I list 3 items [once more in aid of the worthwhile charity "Jon's trip to Thailand"].

Keeping with the computer-related theme, I register notesfromabarstool.co.uk as a domain name and write an anal email response to a Sunday Times questionaire about Peer-2-Peer file sharing (i.e. illegal downloading of music). One point I raise is how everyone forgets that an mp3 is a compressed version of an original song and is consequently of inferior sound quality to a CD. The current cost, therefore, to download tracks legally should be much cheaper (than it currently is).

When I read back the last paragraph, I realise (with horror) that I need to get out of my flat, before I bore myself and my entire blog readership to death! Thankfully there's a free lunch going at my parents', so I gladly leave my PC and head over to their place.

England vs Northern Ireland is showing live on TV today, so myself Jim and Dave M, pledge our allegiance to the boys by meeting up at the Wooden Bridge pub, Guildford for the 3pm kickoff. See some old guy in the pub, who I initially think is emptying his colostomy bag using a large plastic syringe. On closer inspection (not that I inspect too closely) I realise my error; rather than emptying his bladder, he is in fact injecting alcohol into his body. I announce to Dave that it's comforting to know that however f*cked your body might become in old age, there are always ways to enjoy beer!

The England game (for once) is actually worth watching. Admittedly it's a bit of a 'walk-in-the- park' for England, but it's good to see the team looking lively, skillful and stringing some great passes together. Jo Cole particularly has a great game - finally we have a good left-sided player on the wing! To cut a long story short, England hit all their goals in a fast paced, twenty minute spell in the second half and win 4-0; taking them another step closer to the World Cup finals in Germany next year.

Evening is Hannah's birthday (Happy Birthday Hannah!). Like last week, we head down to the King's Head for an earlish start and sit outside under the warmth of the patio heaters. Tonight's attendees are Hannah & Clive (naturally) , Jim & Sara, Dave M & Nat, Matt & Lou, Paolo, Dave W and John (ex Thurs night footballer) & Liz. The music coming through the P.A. is awesome - we are treated to a soundtrack that includes tracks by The Killers, The Bravery and The Kaiser Chiefs.

2005-03-25T22:40:00.000-08:00

Good Friday is definately good - as is any day away from the office. Having said that, after 4 days at work, my morning comprises of catching up on the banal; house work, bill payments and other tiresome activities that must be done. The afternoon, however, allows me to concentrate on notes from a barstool. Seeing as Natalie is currently working on the design and Nick on the story proofs, I decide to focus on the website. I publish a few minor updates, then spend a good couple of hours figuring out how to best to get the site listed on the major search engines. Here for instance is the main pre-requisite of achieving a listing on Google:-

"When a URL is submitted to Google, we look for it in our next crawl. If you've already submitted your URL, your site could easily appear in our new index, which will go up when the current crawl is completed. However, if no other site links to yours, it may be difficult for our crawler to find you. Conversely, if many sites link to your page, there is a good chance we will find you without your submitting your URL."

Whilst I've submitted the URL to Google, it's obvious from the section I've marked in bold, that other sites must link to mine in order to be referenced by Google's search. Just as I'm struggling to work out how to achieve links from other sites, I hit on the following information:-

"You can submit to Yahoo! by visiting http://docs.yahoo.com/info/suggest/... (or) to Netscape's Open Directory Project (DMOZ) by visiting http://www.dmoz.org/. Once your site is included in either of these directories, Google will often index your site within six to eight weeks."

And so I register with both DMOZ and Yahoo. Now all i can do is sit back and wait.

Later I watch 'Meet the Fockers' on SVCD (got from a "friend of a friend";-)). The film is enjoyable, though not as funny as 'Meet the Parents'. For a "dodgy" copy, the sound and picture are pretty good - I suppose it's a bit like watching VHS quality output.

2005-03-24T23:31:00.000-08:00

Thursday drags... and drags... and drags. Due to the Good Friday Bank Holiday (coming up tomorrow), I figure most people are off work today - either mentally or physically. In my case it's a mental vacation; my body sits slumped in front of my laptop while my brain sits slumped someplace else.

Eventually it's home time (just like school days). As soon as I get home, I'm so exhausted that I crash out. At about 7:45pm I wake with the most godawful cramp in my right leg. It's absolute agony. It takes several minutes to stop my leg from feeling like it's going to explode, then another half an hour to walk on it properly. I begin to get concerned that it'll stop me from playing football, so I start an urgent/improvised physio session in attempt to get back to fitness (cue: Rocky music). It gets to half seven and miraculously, my physio feels like it's paid off.

Drive to Matt & Louise's place to drop off a CD. Matt is out, so Louise is home alone. She damn near has a heart attack as she answers the door to a man dressed all in black.

Football is 4-a-side tonight; just like at work, everyone seems to be out partying a day earlier and so there are several absencees. It's absolutely knackering playing with 4 men, but overall I feel that I play slightly better than last week. Unfortunately we lose by a single goal, which is especially frustrating since we had led for about 55 mins of the game! Interestingly, we achieve a record crowd attendance tonight; Natalie joins Hannah on the side line to make a grand total of two spectators!

Go down the Varsity Centre after football and soak up a few beers. Highlight of the hour is undoubtably Jim's announcement that he's purchased a new Daihatsu Copen/hairdresser's car. I believe that he has chosen the 360 degree vanity mirror and driver's hairdryer as optional extras.

2005-03-23T22:34:00.000-08:00

Shock. Horror - midweek hangover! Ouch. It's been such a long time, that I've truly forgotten what these bastards are like. Immediately I wake, believing that it must be a Saturday; why else could I possibly feel so rough?! Head to work and fortunately Kev is in exactly the same boat as me. We naturally decide that our training course has driven us to drink.

Unfortunately the taxman chooses to rear his ugly head (when I see my wage slip). Somehow he manages to cream off the majority of my increased wage. Typical.

Survive the morning, then it ain't much longer before the afternoon has been and gone. Race home and burn nfab material to CD (for Nat). Head to Dave and Nat's place in Camberley and get my free dinner in - cheers Nat! Dave heads off to play squash while me and Nat take the easier option of discussing design tactics. Best news of the night is that Nat more or less wants to take the whole design side on (in addition to the publishing). This essentially means that a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

Listening to Employment at the moment - Kaiser Chiefs debut album - absolutely brilliant.

2005-03-22T23:20:00.000-08:00

Up earlier than usual in order to collect my manager from Alford (middle of no-where) and drive on to some place called Poynings (near Burgess Hill) where we have a training course. The training bleeds us dry, but at least finishes early enough to get me home by 4:15pm - nice.

All Ebay items that I put up for auction on Sat have sold for a grand total of £125; my Thai holiday fund starts here!

Final short-story submission comes in... and it's another corker! All 5 stories and other associated written content is now in; just in time for my meeting with Nat tomorrow - nothing like last minute deadlines; story of my f*cking life!

Nick calls up; he, Jo, Matt & Lou are out at the Keystone again. Since I drove last Fri night I reason that I must deserve a midweek piss-up... and so I take the bus into town to meet them. Sink about 5 pints which is probably not the brightest of plans. Get a train home to Worplesdon and walk from there back to my place accompanied by a soundtrack of The Libertines (on my MP3 player).

2005-03-21T22:02:00.000-08:00

It's 7.55 am. I arrive at work not bright, but early; already I feel totally exhausted. The working day, passes by as an inconvenience and little more; but that's definitely a good thing - especially on a Monday.

Email 'From Russia with Love' to a couple of friends, for honest opinions on how it reads. Get some good feedback which sends me back to the drawing board to try to work the ending better.

Finally receive one of the two short-story submissions I'd been promised for the marketing issue. Thankfully, though, it's well worth the wait - cheers Nick, you're a legend!

Spend some time backing up all nfab related files and gather together all the files that I need to give to Nat on Wed. Play around with a couple more illustrations, but inspiration is sorely lacking today. Eventually I give up and go to bed.

2005-03-20T22:06:00.000-08:00

Write a 500 word story today, wholly inspired by Friday night's dream. It's called From Russia with Love (a title inspired by Bond naturally) and is essentially about an email encounter between a Russian girl looking to marry up with an Englishman in order to obtain a passport. Not sure what I'm going to do with it yet - currently undecided.

Look at my 'To do' list which is bordering on the ridiculous - it's bloody huge. Decide to bin the entire thing and let urgent events kick me into action as and when it becomes necessary. F*ck being proactive; be reactive!

I also read La Almuna (the non fiction submission sent in by Dave French on Friday) it's a highly enjoyable, journalised account of his - and new wife Angela's - last two days of their honeymoon. Unfortunately for them it's spent in La Alumna the craziest hotel, situated somewhere in in the Andalucian Mountains, Spain. To give you an idea of what they have to endure, here Dave describes his initial encounter with La Almuna's alcoholic propieter, Diana:-

"She was wearing what can only be described as an XXXL T-shirt. And nothing else. Maybe she had some light footwear but I didn’t look down that far. I was trying to make out the motif on the T shirt. A few seconds studying and I realized it was the remains of her breakfast."

Dave and Angela gradually meet an assortment of crazy characters including my favourite; the posh, attractive and wholly irresponsible Jemima. After watching her crashed out at the pool side as her two year old son races round the water's edge without supervision (or arm-bands), Dave realises that "this woman must have had her mothering instinct removed at birth; maybe it would have been a good idea if she'd had her ovaries removed at the same time?"

Needless to say I'm sure it's two days that the couple will remember for the rest of their lives. I for one will use the information wisely - I will give the place a wide birth!

Thanks for the read Dave!

2005-03-19T23:53:00.000-08:00

Up relatively early and have a clear head, which is remarkable for me. Just had a bizarre dream which I quickly scribble down - figure it'll make a great 500 word story. Hopefully I'll have a chance to write it up tomorrow.

There's a hand delivered envelope on the doormat with Nancy's handwriting on the front. Earlier this week i'd enquired if she could get a photo to me in order that I can use it for the editorial, so I excitedly rip it open. Inside I pull out a photo wrapped in a piece of notepaper which reads "is this the photo you wanted?"

"no it bloody-well isn't!" I think to myself as I stare in horror at an image of me looking embarassingly wasted on NYE. There's only one place for this photo and that's the bin!

Just as I begin to question Nancy's sanity, I realize that there is still something in the envelope; I reach in and pull out... another envelope! Fortunately Nancy has come up with the goods - inside is the photo i'd wanted, plus a note that reads something along the lines of; "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Yeah, OK - I admit it, you did get me." I write to her later, in an email.

Place an assortment of items up for sale on ebay. If all sell at minimum bids, then they should net me approximately £100. I need to start the holiday fund rolling for ready for Thailand, this September. Currently it's looking like i'll be going with Nick, Jo, Matt & Lou. Surprise guests (joining us from OZ) will be Pete & Shell.

At half twelve I head to my parents for lunch. While I'm there I scan in the picture for the editorial and cut the image to CD, then it's back to mine to play with the image. I mess around with some blurring techniques and desaturate the image (since it needs to be black and white anyway).

It gets to about 4pm and so thinking already about the evening, I decide to cut my hair. Scissor cut the top from about 40mm at the front to about 30mm at the back and use the hair clippers to get a 25mm cut at the sides and back. Overall, I'm happy with the outcome. The whole process takes about 45mins from start to finish, and this includes cleaning all the mess up afterwards. It certainly beats throwing away £10-£15 to get someone else to do it.

Evening is a fairly chilled occasion - Dave M, gives me a ride into town where we meet up with Paolo, Dave W, Clive (suffering badly with a cold) and Hannah. Sit outside at the King's Head until the patio heater packs up and we realise how bloody cold it actually is! I'm reminded if the negative aspect to blogging my life; everytime I tell Dave M something he answers; "yeah, I know - I read it on your blog". Paolo, Dave W, Clive and Hannah head for The Star to get an extra hour of drinking in (licensed until midnight), while me and Dave finish our drinks up then head for a taxi . I've given up on the Star for one principle reason; ten years ago it was the best damn pub ever, now it is a hole. The place really does depress me. It's not unlike finding yourself in a brothel at the end of the night and thinking "My God, has my life really sunk this low?"

2005-03-18T23:57:00.000-08:00

My two day working week comes to an abrupt end - it's Friday already; bonus!

Speaking of bonuses, ours is revealed to be 27p in the pound. A nice tidy sum indeed, although not quite in the high 30s like everyone had hoped. This shortfall of 10p leads to much bitterness and complaining along the lines of "we've been conned out of our full entitlement"... and so a 27% bonus (on the month's salary) has the net effect of pissing everyone off. This tends to be a common theme at my company; good news swiftly turns bad.

Concious of English stereotypes, I have refrained from mentioning the weather... until now. Today it's a butt-burning 23°C (73°F) degrees in Woking/Guildford (and it's only mid-March); two weeks ago it was snowing! For those of you travelling in colder climates (Lee & Ali in China), here's a link to The Sun's article (including relevant pics. such as "Keeley from Page 3") on the mini-heat wave. Wearing my winter (wool mix) trousers even at this relatively mild temperature is torture; slacks made of sandpaper would be more comfortable. Regretably, this means I'll be spending even more cash on work clothing in the near future.

Receive a submission today ('La Almuna' from Dave French in Redhill) which I will read fully over the weekend.

Evening is beers with Jim, Paolo, Adie and Dave. I drive since there' s no other conceivable/cheap way to get to the Cricketers in Bagshot. This is probably a good thing for another reason; I need a clear head on Sat morning in order to push on with nfab.

2005-03-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

Trying to catch up on everything at work; it's manic! To make matters even more crazy, the horn on my car has stopped working - it emits no noise however hard you thump the damn thing. This is naturally playing havoc with my usual high standard of aggressive driving. Too many drivers in front of me have got away with blue murder today - flashing the lights is pointless, since most of these dumb asses never think to check in their rearview mirrors. Arghhh!

Natalie is leaving the country today in order to spend a weekend in Germany. We have arranged to meet next Wednesday at her and Dave's place for dinner. Not only do I get a free feed, but I get to hand over all the content for publication - that is of course assumming that I can complete all remaining work over the next 5 days:-

Word-wise things are generally OK. I have collated the majority of all written content, except for two short stories - you know who you are boys; hurry up and submit the damn things!
Illustration-wise, I've completed a prototype for the cover design and two pics relating to a couple of the stories. I need to aim to complete at least another two over the weekend.

Arrive home to find an package on my doorstep; a (used) Diesel shirt ordered on Ebay. Ideally it needs to be a size smaller... but it still looks quite cool, so it'll definitely do. In any case, I ain't gonna complain for eleven pounds!

Win at football (two weeks running now). I guess I play a 65% game tonight. I certainly demonstrate some incrediable flashes of brilliance - like bringing down a powerfully struck cross field ball and controlling it like a pro (Graham's words, not mine). This contrasts with some exceptional moments of poor finishing - including two badly taken goals; how they went in, I'll never know!

Pop in to Graham's on the way home to say "hi" to Jo (Graham's girlfriend) and Tipper (their dog). Graham is the owner of a Pet shop at Clandon Garden Centre. He is somewhat an expert in the area of reptiles and owns several snakes. Recently he was invited to give a talk in assembly at a posh school somewhere in Esher - and being a Man Utd fan was somewhat taken aback to find that a well known Chelsea player's son was one of his audience.

2005-03-16T04:33:00.000-08:00

Email work to let them know that I'll probably be back in tomorrow - feeling much better today than over the last few days. House is a complete tip, so there's no time to write; I must clean!

2005-03-15T13:10:00.000-08:00

Still ill...

2005-03-14T14:35:00.000-08:00

Off work, sick. Feeling the full onslaught of the illness that initially took hold of me yesterday afternoon. Been in bed all day, sweating and sleeping - nice. My brain is too fried, to write anything today.

2005-03-13T17:32:00.000-08:00

I wake and immediately experience what Paolo calls "the fear"; that moment when you begin regretting incidents from the previous night.

"...the sparks that flew from your heels."

My God, could I have been any more sacarine?!

I make the mistake of checking my sent items (on my phone) and find a multitude of incomprehensible texts that were sent to various people. The only positive is that I had refrained from sending anything to Cheryl. Thank f*ck.

Everything this morning is an effort:-

I need to iron my new workshirt, but in order to do this I need to 'self-clean' the iron to stop it spurting out shit.
I must drive to Allen's to collect the sample publication that I lent him to quote on, but the car's nearly out of fuel, so I'll need to stop at a petrol station first.
In order to make a cup of tea, I must first boil the kettle.

In the end I achieve all three of the above. Then I look at my To Do list that I emailed to myself yesterday (it looks something like this):-

1. Collect publication from Allen's place - B4 11am!!! [Done!]
2. Call Natalie to arrange meeting to discuss publishing
3. Collate nfab content for Natalie and cut to CD
4. Reread Natalie's original email and answer all the points
5. Play with photos and apply effects in Photoshop (for potential nfab illustrations)
6. Update website; submissions section/discussion board
7. Meeting with Natalie
8. Catch up on blog (fri + Sat)

I hear from Dave M that Natalie's ill [get well soon Nat!], which makes 2,3 & 7 unachievable. Then strangely as the afternoon progresses, I begin to feel a bit rough myself. I initially put this down to being tired. I push on and indeed, you'll be aware from these very words that I achieve point 8 at least. Then I'm struck down by some kind of bastard, flu-type thing - finally I admit defeat and call it a day.

2005-03-12T23:59:00.000-08:00

Half an hour after waking, I begin to remember snippets of last night - my God, I really was dancing... badly!

Have to collect the shirt that I ordered from Next last Sat. Decide to get into Guildford early(ish) and at least use my hangover productively. Collect the shirt and stupidly end up spending another £50 on casual clothing while I'm there.

Nancy emails me and kindly offers to proof the publication (in addition to Nick). This is particularly useful, since Nancy can hit on grammar and spelling, while Nick can use his editorial genius to ammend my words.

By mid afternoon my hangover is practically gone. I try on the purchases from Next and am amazed that they actually look good; usually hangovers + shopping = shite clothes.

Tonight is Paolo's birthday. [Happy 28th mate!] We meet at the Three Tuns where the tunes are initially "cock rock" bands from the late 80s (Aerosmith, Bon Jovi and G'n'R). Then Pearl Jam come on and things start to rock. When I'm at the bar, a good-looking girl next to me starts tapping her foot to the Prodigy song that's playing. Have an anal discussion with her, along the lines of; "the Prodigy were good... until they released their new album. Blah, blah, blah".

The group 2nite is reasonable in size, since there are several Millmead footballers who have stayed on in Guildford for Paolo's celebrations. To name-check everyone; Paolo and Chincea (spelling apologies again!), Nick & Jo (just back from Vietnam and with some superb stories), Jim and Sara (they too survived last night), Clive and Hanna (the first person ever to post a comment on this blog), Dave W, Danny (footballer#1), Matt (footballer#2), Steve (footballer#3 - currently collecting disciplinary points) and Gary (footballer#4).

Danny is a "chippy" and tells me he has recently built Skinner and Baddiel's recent TV set:-
"Did you get to meet them ?" I ask.
"Yeah, Skinner's a c*nt!" he says.
"What about Baddiel?"
"He's a c*nt too!"
[For legal reasons this is an alledged conversation ;-)]

Just before leaving the three tuns, Danny does an impromptu air guitar to his song request; Motorhead 'Ace of Spades'. The crowd go wild.

Next up is the Voodoo Lounge, or Bar Mambo, or whatever the Hell they call it. Not only do we have to pay £12 to get in, but a round of 3 (three) bottles of Becks is a whopping £15!!! Out-bloody-ragous.

Begin complaining about the price of drinks to some girl at the bar... then when i realise how attractive she is, I put in the work and attempt to chat her up; Cheryl, (sexy blonde, marketing exec, lives in Docklands). She's down in Guildford to see/go out with her sister. After about five minutes, I break off and take the drinks back to the table. Naturally I tell her that I'll come and find her later.

At midnight the place is heaving and trying to find Cheryl is a nightmare. Thankfully Jo accompanies me on my mission. Eventually I find Cheryl (and her sister) upstairs and Jo makes a subtle exit. Almost straight away, I make the fatal mistake of asking how much younger Cheryl's sister is:-

"SHE'S FIVE YEARS OLDER!!!" Cheryl exclaims in shock. "I'm only 26!"

[oops! ]

After a short while of me trying to repair the verbal damage, I lay it on the line and say I want to see her again. I even bastardize a Razorlight song and heinously announce "from the moment I first saw you I wanted to catch the sparks that flew from your heels." Jesus, I really have no f*cking shame. I give her my number (for what purpose?), then retreat back downstairs to join Paolo and the guys.

Cab driver home relates endless tales of horny girls in the back of his cab. Man, this isn't the kind of stuff that a recently single guy needs to hear when he's on his lonely way home! Naturally I make a mental note to become a cab driver.

2005-03-11T23:59:00.000-08:00

Friday, yeah!

The working day gives me square eyes as I trawl through ASP code, attempting to get an appointment form working for the company's intranet site. Yes, it is as mind numbingly dull as it sounds. Eventually it all comes together and I get the go ahead to publish the new form to the live site. Embarassingly this means I can qualify for a geek-like title of "coding king". Hurrah.

Clare ("Marketing Queen") gets phone interviewed on the XFM Breakfast Show in an attempt to get selected to enter "The Trainee" - a kind of "Big Brother" elimination competition live on-air. She cleverly uses the word; "willing" to describe herself, but unfortunately fails to make the cut.

Fast-forward to the evening and the bus to Guildford actually turns up this week. I jump on what is effectively an oversized taxi, since I am the only passenger on the damn thing. Tonight is Lee and Ali's very last night in the country, so the Oak (our surrogate lounge) is the chosen venue. It's Comic Relief night and everyone behind the bar, is dressed crazily. I'm not, so I have to donate some money... because my guilt trip kicks me in the ass.

At last orders Lee and Ali head home in preparation for an early start tomorrow. It's only 11pm, so me, Jim and Sara decide that the night can't end quite yet. We head to Ha Ha Bar, because it's open until 1am ( and "the Star's shit"). Usually it's problematic getting past the doormen at this time, so fuelled by alcohol I explain to J & S that it's OK, because I know the bar manager (been for a drink with him once) and so I can bullshit our entry. Miraculously the doormen wave us through before I have time to open my mouth; probably a good thing.

After a couple more drinks, me and Sara are sucked in by the house music. We drag Jim onto the dance floor to move to the beats, which is a feat in itself since Jim only ever dances to guitar bands:-

"I can't dance to this shit". Jim explains wearily. But then he does.

2005-03-10T23:50:00.000-08:00

Allen comes in with a final (slightly lower) quote - this means:-
1) I have a good idea how the the marketing issue will look.
2) I know exactly how much cash I have to wave goodbye to.

When I arrive back home from work, I suddenly notice how much of a squat my place has become. Notes from a barstool has consumed me like like a drug over the last few weeks and in a moment's clarity I see my place for what it is. I spend an hour cleaning the place up - which is time enough. Being male I have learnt all the tricks to put in minimum time to a job in order to achieve maximum effect. Naturally this equates to doing a half arsed job. But hey, it's what I'm best at.

Cook up some food then send a few nfab related emails. Before I know it, it is already time to leave for football. Head up to Kings Manor and play a 75% game. It is enough, since not only do we win, but I put away three goals including one from about 15 yards out. It's especially sweet when those beauties hit home.

Finally I'd like to leave you with three forthcoming single releases that I can't get out of my head:-

Razorlight - Somewhere Else
Hal - Play the Hits
Thirteen Senses - The Salt Wound Routine

2005-03-09T19:54:00.000-08:00

Today is a killer 12 hour day. I leave the house at 6:30am in order to get to Finchley for half eight. The site that I'm working at is an impressive building full of clothing designers. Everyone here looks like a hairdresser. When I was here a couple of weeks ago I spotted Nancy D'elio (Sven's missus) chatting to the Managing Director. Today there are no famous faces; just a wannabe editor, watching the clock.

Newsflash of the day comes from Allen, in the form of a quote. Price-wise, it's more than we thought, but at least forces some direction as to how the marketing issue of Notes from a Barstool will ultimately look; it will most likely be A5, with a four colour, laminated cover. The inner pages will be black and white and probably total about 26.

Just heard from Jim. It's Paolo (his brother's) birthday today, so I'm going to head to Guildford and join them for a few beers. Nice.

2005-03-08T21:45:00.000-08:00

One of my greatest frustrations at the moment is having to apply some level of censorship to stories submitted for the marketing issue (MI). At the moment my marketing plans are lucid to say the least and without a clear strategy I'm forced to keep my options open as to where I will eventually distribute the MI. If for instance, I were to approach more conservative venues (such as coffee shops) then certain criteria will need to met before the publication will be allowed through their doors. Liberal use of four letter words and graphic depictions of sex and violence would quite possibly cause problems... OK, it will cause problems. And so I'm forced to make this announcement to the writers who are currently working on submissions for the MI. Censorship is a real pain-in-the-ass (to put it mildly).

The issue with contemporary fiction of course, is that you're constantly flirting with real life, and as we all know, life ain't a cosy Daily Mail constructed fantasy. These days sex, drugs and rock n' roll are most people's weekends. TV shows like Eastenders aren't; they merely appease the Daily Mail readership. Life (as we all know) is dirty, seedy and sometimes brutal. And so to make a story life-like, that is how it must be.

The reality, however, is that we're only working on the marketing issue. As the name suggests it is merely a promotional tool to guide Issue 1 to its eventual, uncensored release. Then my friends, the job will have been done... and we can strip off the pretence and roll around in the gutter, enjoying the filth. Beautiful, yet downright dirty. Just like life.

Yeah baby, let's have a revolution!
(but only after we have appeased the masses)

Hypocrisy; don't you just love it?

[email your thoughts on censorship or anything to censorshipsucks@notesfromabarstool.com]

2005-03-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

Hot rumours are flying round the office today that we're on for a good bonus at the end of this month. Everyone is trying to predict just how much it might be. I'm trying not to get too excited until there's an official announcement. However, from past experience, rumours have generally come true.

Spurred on by thoughts of a bonus pay cheque, I decide I really should be a more dedicated employee... and so I quickly finish packaging and addressing the Lego Kits and head off early to make the post office before it closes.

Evening is spent on Notes from a Barstool. Specifically I complete a mock-up of the first page (editorial, contents etc) which will come before all the stories in the marketing issue. I have some ideas for the font types and illustration style. I email Natalie (she has kindly offered up her publishing services) to see what she thinks.

Special mentions of the day go to:-

Allen ("the font king") who has named the typeface I saw and wanted for the titles.
Clare ("the marketing queen") who suggested some useful promotional ideas [this is in stark contrast to other suggestions I received today; try as I might, I cannot believe that a nude photo of me is going to help generate sales].
Nancy ("the stamina queen") for her completion of a half marathon yesterday - that's a Hell of a lot of miles!
And finally, but by no means least; Nick ("the log king") for his query form submission to the website - "I did a stool that was shaped like a bar. How ironic is that?"

Right now my mind is totally spinning from thinking about the publication. It's definitely time for a beer (or two)!

2005-03-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

Ahhh and so to Sunday... a day of rest? Yeah, right!

Alarm wakes me at 9:30am. Why the Hell did I set an alarm? Then i remember; I have loads of stuff to do. This thought wears me out and I go back to sleep for another half hour.

Today is Mother's Day. Ever the dutiful son, I drive to Guildford to buy a bouquet from the florists round the back of the station. The woman gives me a choice of flowers, then looks at me for an answer. I just stare blankly back at her unable to figure it out.

"You don't care, do you?!" she says laughing at my male ignorance. She's right. To me a flower is a flower and for some strange reason, women seem to get ridiculously excited by them.

Do the lunch thing at my parents, then it's back home to hunt around for packaging to box up my old Lego kits - I have several up for auction on Ebay.

I update www.notesfromabarstool.com since there's a few bits that urgently need changing. I also take a few photos and play around with the resulting pictures in Photoshop. This allows for a new picture on the home page; a stylized typewriter key from my trusty 'Royal'. Let the creative juices flow!

The Ebay auctions end (totalling £57.04!), so I do the admin crap and get the 'paid for' items ready for mailing out tomorrow. As the night draws to a close, i watch a DVD of The Libertines; one of the best live bands to grace these shores in recent years. The moment is truely inspirational. It also hits the nostalgia button; yes, they once supported '12' the band I played in. What if, what if... Sure, I could be going out with Kate Moss (like Pete Docherty has done); but I'm far too 'high maintenance' for her.

2005-03-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

Sinking too much beer on Friday night was, with hindsight, a bad idea; my hangover wakes me at the ungodly hour of 7am on Sat morning.

Damn. Another chance to have a lie-in has been wasted. C'est la vie.

In an attempt to send myself back to sleep, I read the first part of Nick's travel journal [Hey, just kidding Nick!]; 20 pages detailing his and his wife Jo's travel experience in Thailand and Vietnam last year. It's looking good so far, with some particularly humourous accounts relating to other travellers that they meet. It's also a nostalgic read since it has been about 7 years since I was last in either country.

Drive to Guildford for noon and regret spending £15 on a work shirt - parting with my hard-earned cash on anything work-related always kills me. In order to redress the work/play clothing balance, I spend £25 on a T-shirt.

Walk from town to Nick's place and stop by for about 20 mins for a cuppa and a chat about his journal and what I thought of it. Can't stay too long because he's "working from home". Since Jo is currently away, I assume this to mean "w*nking from home".

I leave Nick to his work/porn, find my car and drive over to The Varsity Centre where some of the guys are playing football for Millmead FC. I played a couple of games (as substitute) when there was a shortage of players at the start of the season, but no longer; time-wise it's an impossibility to fit this in now. I find Hanna (club secretary) and grab a copy of a publication from her - I need to take this to Allen as an example of what Notes from a Barstool will ultimately look like. This is because Allen - a studio director at a design company - is (hopefully) going to organise the printing for me "at a mate's rate".

I drive over to Allen's place in Holmbury St Mary and get there just as a house viewing is about to start. Oops! I hand him the publication and head home.

After getting an hour's shut eye, it's evening already. Bus fails to turn up (quelle surprise) so I order a taxi to get me into Guildford. I bore the cab driver with tales of my ebay "wheeling and dealing" of digital cameras.

This evening is Lee and Ali's last Sat before they go away to China and SE Asia for 6 weeks. To celebrate we go to the Royal Oak - our "local". The occasion generates a good crowd; Besides myself, Lee and Ali there's:- Nick, Matt & Lou, Dave W, Paolo & Chincea (Paolo's Italian girlfriend whose name I can't spell), Clive & Hanna, Jim & Sara, Adie & Caroline. It's a good night and great company.

Bad news of the night, however, is that Mary and Ray (landlady/landlord @ the oak) announce that they're leaving to manage a new pub in Southsea towards the end of April. This is a killer blow. Not only will they be sadly missed, but what will happen to the Oak's vibe? This question will be answered on this very blog; as and when events happen. Watch this space.

Good news, is that if I can produce the preview issue of Notes from a Barstool in time, then they will consider selling it at the Oak and recommending the publication to the new owners! And so a deadline kicks in and consequently kicks my ass into gear - this tends to be a familiar theme in 'my life story'.

Cab driver home is the same guy that dropped me into town earlier. He asks me which camera manufacturer is best. I tell him something like "yeah mate you really can't go wrong with a Canon because blah, blah, blah" - Man, I'm so full of crap after a few beers.